The letters in the box
by doge
Summary: Booth keeps writing letters to Bones. He writes about his feelings but never sends them. I know, not a new idea, but I give it a try. The letters are following cannon. You will recognize the episodes they are refering to.
1. January 1, 2006

**I know this has been done before, but I thought about this for more than a year and now I want to give it a try. Letters, Booth writes to Bones but never send. They follow storyline. **

**This time 554laura is my Beta, lots of thanks to her, she is doing a fantastic job. **

**Disclaimer: I don't owe Bones. Only using their characters**

Jan. 01.2006

Dear Bones,

What can I say? I adore you.

Oh believe me, I would never say those words out loud, especially to you, but it's true.

It's been nearly a year since our first case, and we ended it with a big, ugly fight. I'm still sorry about that, you know? I've tried calling, but you've refused to talk to me ever since.

During this past year, I couldn't get you out of my mind, believe me. I've tried really hard to find a way to work with you again and to show you...prove to you...that I can do better.

Oh yes, I still believe in fate. There is no doubt about that. We were supposed to meet each other, and this is absolutely going somewhere.

Now we've been working together for nearly 6 months, and it's fair to say that we've become friends. My gut tells me that you would agree with that, too.

But there is so much more I wanna tell you. I like how compassionate you are when you find justice for the victims. I admire your knowledge and professionalism. I'm still surprised at how your brain works. I love that you've promised to help me with my personal balance sheet so I can put away as many bad guys as possible before my time is up with the FBI.

But lately there is this pull, a desire to spend more time with you, not only at work, but also in our free time. I enjoy our lunch breaks, (even if you steal my fries), our evening take out dinners while we're going through paperwork, our celebratory case-closed drinks. I don't wanna miss a minute of that.

§§§.

It's 4 am in the morning on the first day of New Year, and I cannot go to sleep because I am still thinking of you and how beautiful you looked tonight. There we were, at the Jeffersonian New Year's party. All of us were there, and we were all dressed up nicely. Yes, me too, but you were just gorgeous.

You dress was stunning. The midnight blue was a perfect match to your eyes. You should wear something like that more often. The stretchy fabric hugged your perfect body like a glove...the beautiful body you often hide under those unflattering lab coats. I liked how the low v-cut of your neckline showed your alluring curves and a fair amount of your delicate skin.

I can still smell your perfume on my shirt where you lay your head while we danced. I still feel your soft skin at my fingertips, holding you close while we were dancing.

_And so...you might ask, why am I writing this all to you?_

Because there is so much going on, so much that keeps me awake, so much I want to tell you and so much I cannot tell you at this point in time.

So I write things down that I am not allowed to say to you, at least not yet. If I do tell you, you will be confused, and maybe close yourself off to me again, and I don't want that to happen. But I need to tell someone what is burning inside me and it's nagging on me, so I had the idea of writing letters.

**Letters to you. **

I'm absolutely sure I won't write every day, but only when I want to say something to you and cannot address you directly for some reason.

Some of them may be long, some may be only a few short lines. I won't send them now...but I'll put them all in a box and save them.

Maybe someday I will let you read them, maybe someday when I am not afraid anymore, I'll get to tell you what you mean to me. So this is the first one of many.. at least I think so.

Booth

**AN: What do you think. Please let me know in a review. **


	2. February 8, 2006

**Thanks to all who reviewed, followed or favorited my story. Means a lot to me. Here we are with the second letter. **

_**Again a big thanks to my Beta Laura who did a quick and perfect job. **_

Feb. 8, 2006

Dear Bones,

I have a confession to make: I'm constantly watching you. I've done that for a long time...if I'm honest, I guess I've done it from the first day I met you. I really like to watch you, but I'm kind of afraid that if you find out, you'll call me out on it, so I try to keep it hidden. It's like my own little secret, you know?

When we're on a crime scene or in the lab, I always keep my pen and my cards ready in my hands, so when you look up and accidentally catch me staring at you, I can easily keep my secret by asking: "Watcha got Bones?" They're like camouflage...they hide my feelings for you.

You know, when you're bent over a victim at a crime scene or in the lab, it is always your back that's first in my line of view.

I have to tell you, I like your back. I know it may sound weird, but I like the soft curve going down from your ribs to your hip, and sometimes I have to stop myself, because my hands want to follow that curve. See, the problem is that I don't only want to look...I want to touch, too. I'm just itching to slide my fingers along that long, smooth line. Of course, that would be very, very inappropriate, and I think if I would ever try something like that, I'd find myself on the floor in a heartbeat, right?

But a guy can dream, you know?

Lucky for me, you've allowed me to place my hand in the small of your back, so I kinda take this as _my_ spot...like it's my territory. That part of your back is mine, and it feels pretty good for me.

I know...I know. I can just imagine you rolling your eyes at that superficial male ego garbage.

And if I ever got up the nerve, I'd tell you how much I like it when I put my hand in just the right spot, but I'm sure you'd be very irritated at my territorial claim, and then you'd annoy me with a lot of anthropological mumbo jumbo about being a typical human male.

So I just enjoy it while I can, and take every chance to place my hand right there, on my own private spot.

And sometimes I make myself happy by thinking that you know about my favorite spot and you like it when I put my hand there, huh?

Maybe one day, I won't have to pretend...and everyone will know that spot belongs to me.

Booth

**AN: I promise, in the next letters you will recognize the episode I am referring too. If you have time and you want to make me happy, please leave a little note in the review box. **


	3. March 15, 2006

March 15, 2006

Oh my God Bones,

I just love your eyes. It's such a simple statement, but it's true.

Sometimes they're light blue, and sometimes they're a bit greenish, but mostly they shimmer grey. The color doesn't matter, I guess...they always seem as deep as an ocean to me.

Over the time since we've worked together, you've often allowed me to lock eyes with you. I've learned to read your expression...learned to read in your eyes. as you've learned to read the thoughts in mine. People often tell us that we have a way to communicate with each other using our eyes, and they're probably right.

Angela refers to this as "eye sex" but I don't wanna go there...not right now, anyway.

I could look into your eyes for hours, because they are truly the mirror of your beautiful soul. I find everything in them...everything you aren't willing to tell me, and sometimes even the emotions that you won't allow yourself to show to anybody...not even me.

In your eyes I see your fears, your insecurities, and your passion...how much you really care.

One day I hope to find love in them...love for _me_, because I am falling in love with you. I can't help it.

_Page 2_

This letter has a second page because right now I am lying in a hospital bed and the first page is at my apartment, but all I can think of right now is your beautiful eyes. I can't think of anything else.

I'm still terrified, because yesterday your eyes were filled with pure horror. I will never, ever forget the terror and fear I found in them when I finally saw you again, but thank God, I can still look into your wonderful eyes. I was so afraid...and I'm so thankful they aren't staring back at me cold and dead.

I never should've let you out of my sight.

OK, I know I was blown up by your fridge, and I had to stay in that hospital bed, but I shouldn't have let you out of my sight. I find that I'm blaming myself for your close call. The fear is playing in my brain over and over.

Thank God we found you in this old warehouse, where that bastard was trying to kill you. He's now behind bars, and I promise you this...I'll make sure he'll never get out again.

That moment when I had you in my arms...when I lifted you from that hook, knowing you were safe...it was the best moment I've ever had. The truth is, it hurt like hell, but still...it was worth it.

I can't imagine what would've happened if we hadn't found you in time. I can't think of losing you, Bones.

So please understand me when I can't look any other way than in your beautiful blue eyes.

At least for a few more days..

Yours,

Booth

PS: Thank you for staying with me in the evening and canceling your date with that internet guy. You can't imagine how much that meant to me.

**AN: Think you recognize the episode here. Please let me know if you like these letters. **


	4. May 17, 2006

**Thanks again to my Beta 554Laura. She has a new story published some days ago. It is fantastic, please check. **

**So here we go with the next letter. **

May 17, 2006

My dear Bones,

I'm so sorry. Today you got the most horrible news I can imagine.

It's hard for me to think about what you must be feeling right now. It kills me to see you so sad, to see you crying. What can I do to take away your pain?

We'd finally found your mother, and, unfortunately, she was dead. We just found out today that she'd been down in limbo...tucked away in the bone storage area of the Jeffersonian for years, waiting for someone to identify her.

My heart is hurting for you, and I promise I'll do everything I can to help you. If you need me, I'm right here. Anytime.

By the way...you were right. I didn't just happen to see the light in your apartment while passing by your house. I wanted to be with you. I wanted to console you. I wanted to be your friend.

We found your brother, too, and I hope you'll choose to renew your relationship with him, because he's your family. You need to hang on to him.

I'm your family, too, you know.

I know who you are, and I'm grateful that you trust me enough to turn to me for comfort.

Holding you in my arms, as bad as the situation turned out to be...well, that was my biggest joy today.

If you only knew how much I cherish that...that you allow me to embrace you in your moments of fear, in moments when you are sad. Please never stop turning to me whenever you need to be held.

I'll hold you forever, because in my arms, you are safe.

Yours,

Booth

**Thanks for reading, reviews are always welcome.**


	5. September 27, 2006

**Here we go, the next letter is ready to be put away in the box. Happy Sunday to you.**

Sept. 27, 2006

Dear Bones,

Sometimes I can't help it. I'm just a normal guy, you know? I have needs that need to be satisfied now and then. And sometimes these needs make me turn to Becca for comfort. I've done that several times in the last few years, but it needs to stop. It's not good for me, and not good for our relationship, either. We have a child together, that's it. That's all we have in common.

But there are these moments when sparks are flying...when touching her brings back memories or how we were in the past...how it was to be in love...how it was to make love with a beautiful woman. It's so easy to give in, to go back to where we were, but we both know that's not going anywhere. We'll never be a couple again. We just missed our moment.

That doesn't mean that there isn't still attraction between us. She's pretty, okay? We're comfortable with each other, and it's so easy to fall into old habits.

You called me out on that when you found out that we'd just had sex. The way that you could figure that out...that you could notice the change in my voice and you knew what it meant...that's scary, you know?

When we'd finally closed the case, we talked in your office, remember?

During the conversation, something in our mood shifted. It was like a new level of feeling between us. We didn't really say it out loud, but it seemed like we were talking about having sex with each other. I don't think I was imagining it. I saw it in your eyes...you were thinking about it, too.

That's when I drew that line. That's why I said that some people cannot just have sex with each other, because there's too much on the line...too much to take the risk.

I don't know if I'll hate myself tomorrow for feeling that way. I know it's like I was pushing you away, but I cannot risk losing you. I 've got to keep my distance because I'm afraid you'll run away.

So I'm happily staying on my side of that line...at least for now.

Yours,

Booth

**Hope you liked it, please let me know. **


	6. November 1, 2006

Nov. 01,2006

Dear Bones,

We had a weird case and in the end, it turned out to be just sad. There was no elation in catching the killer...no pleasure in closing this case. We found a dead girl…a pretty little girl whose mother had turned her into a beauty queen...a fake. I still have no sympathy for mothers who would do this to their daughters. It's just not right.

Then this case brought up the discussion between us about beauty and what women do to change their looks.

You told me that you didn't understand how they could do that to themselves. Well, of course you didn't understand, because there is nothing you need to change.

You see, for me, you are the most beautiful woman I can think of...the most beautiful woman I've ever known. I wanted to tell you that...actually, I wanted to tell you more, but I couldn't.

So instead I told you, you were well structured. What a load of crap. Here's what I should have told you…you are gorgeous and beautiful...and not only on the outside. Your heart and your brain...well, they're beautiful, too. You're the whole package, Bones...

But I ended up saying nothing. I couldn't, because something is bothering me. It's eating me from the inside out.

I know we aren't a couple, that we aren't in a romantic relationship...so how come I feel like I'm cheating on you?

I'm having this fling with Cam, okay? It's nothing serious...more a friendship with benefits, or as you would call it, merely satisfying biological urges. I should've ended it a long time ago, but I keep going back to her. It seems I can't help it. I guess I'm not sure how to end it...

Jesus...I'm such a mess.

How can I sleep with her and be in love with you at the same time?

I'm so confused.

Booth

**AN: Someone mentioned that Bones doesn't want to read letters where Booth is talking about sleeping with someone else. Please remember, these letters are not sent. Booth is a private person, he couldn't talk to Bones because he was afraid she would close up to him, so the letters were his outlet to express his feelings. The only way they communicated their feelings was, when they looked each other in the eyes. **

**Like in this episode. His heart belonged to Bones so he choose old donuts and paperwork over and evening with Cam. **


	7. November 8, 2006

Nov, 08,2006

Dear Bones,

I found a new favorite spot, but it's gonna sound weird, okay? It's your neck. When you bent over the examination table in the lab and I'm next to you, it seems my eyes always follow the line of your neck. Most of the time you have your hair up in a ponytail, so I have a full view of your smooth skin there.

I like how you crane your neck...how sometimes you move your head to one side to get a clearer view of the bones in front of you. I know...weird, right? But I really, really like that, and I thought it would be okay to just enjoy the view...so I do. I hope you never catch me staring...

Nothing had prepared me for that moment, though, when I had to zip up your hot little dress in our hotel room in Vegas. There I was, standing behind you, your neck right in front of me in plain view. It was like it was calling out to me, begging to be touched. You smelled delicious, and I could hardly keep myself from pressing my lips right there. I wanted to run my mouth all along that soft pale skin...to feel its satin texture...to taste it…

I am so screwed.

Did you feel my deep intake of breath? Did you notice the shockwave moving through my body?

And then hot, sexy Roxie came to the surface. Bones, you knocked me off my feet. Suddenly your hands were moving all over my body. I felt your soft curves pressing into me, your red hot lips running over my cheeks. It took all the willpower I had to keep from shoving you up into the wall and letting Tony take over.

And it wasn't going to get easier for me, was it? The next day you put on that low cut, clingy red dress, making me want to kiss your neck even more, but this time, I wanted to face you when I pressed hot open mouth kisses just there, sucking at your throat and then following the line down your collarbone before moving along to the swell of your breasts.

I know I have to keep these thoughts all to myself, but I feel better now, after writing it down.

And one day, I'll tell you, and kiss you just right there...just the way I want to...and you'll be mine.

Yours,

Booth

**AN: You know, Booth had to go further than writing about his feelings. He is at least true to himself. **

**But don't worry, I will always keep it in the "T" rating. Booth wouldn't write "M" stuff, right? **


	8. November 15, 2006

Nov. 15, 2006

Dear Bones,

I need to tell you how I love your hands and fingers...you know, what you call your phalanges. Looks like I'm not only falling in love with you, but also in love with every little part of your body.

I could watch them for hours. It's fascinating how your slender fingers move over the bones, light and smooth, thoroughly examining every inch of the skeleton in front of you. You'll find every fracture, every bit of damage...even the smallest cut. Your talented fingers have helped me solve many crimes.

When I watch how your fingers slide over the white rough surface of the human remains in front of you, sometimes my thoughts drift, wondering how it would feel if these fingers would run over my skin like over those bones.

Gentle or firm, exploring or caressing, your fingers are constantly moving, and I can almost sense the prickling of my heated skin as I imagine the sensation of your soft hands running all over me.

\- Shit, we were just called for a case again. I was so in the mood to write more….

…..

I nearly lost you forever. You and Hodgins were buried alive. I was shocked, afraid...despairing...wondering if I'd ever see you again.

We were running out of time. They told me we were too late, but I knew you would fight...that you'd never give up. I knew you and Hodgins would figure something out to get more air...that you'd do everything you could think of.. I trusted your intelligence, but I got more desperate every minute. I was terrified.

When I saw the smoke rising from that dust filled crater, I started running for your life. Can you imagine how my heart was nearly bursting with elation when I finally got hold of your fingers...your beautiful phalanges? The feel of your hand in mine...being able to drag you out of the dust, and Hodgins, too...it was incredible.

We saved your lives, and we saved our own, too.

So please don't be surprised if I want to hold your hands over the next few days, I just can't let you go...not yet.

Yours,

Booth

**AN: Thanks for reading and I am always happy to get a review. **


	9. March 21,2007

March 21, 2007

Dear Bones,

So I shot a clown. What's the big deal? He was ugly and loud, with a really crazy look. I mean, he wasn't a living human, right? This one was attached to an ice cream truck, but it was still a clown, anyway. I don't know why I hate them so much, but I do. They're always cheering and smiling, and that's not normal, right?

The FBI was absolutely not happy about that shot...not at all. Can you imagine? They took my gun and my badge, but luckily they let me keep my wheels until this all is settled. Anyway, now I'm stuck on desk duty, and that's so boring. I'd rather be out in the field.

I ended up going to Gordon Gordon Wyatt to figure out if I'm a danger to any other clowns just crossing my path, and you ended up being partnered with Sully, working the case with the girl inside that giant gator. I would have loved to go with you on such a special case.

Look, it's not an exaggeration to say you've dated some crazy guys over the years. Hell, the last one decapitated his own brother. It looked like none of them were threats to me...at least I thought so.

I put them all in their place, and drove you crazy when I did it.

_**No one is dating my girl**_.

But with Sully, that's a different story. I kinda like this guy. I couldn't say anything bad about him, and that's really the point. You seemed to like him, too, so it's not for me to stand in the way, even if it turns my guts inside out.

He asked me if he is interfering with me and you...if there is something between us...and I lied my ass off. I told him no. I was such a fool. I have myself to blame...only me, me, me.

This whole situation is killing me, and now I have to live with the image in my head of you, kissing him, staying on his boat, making… I don't want to even think about it.

Shock! Yesterday he asked you to go with him on tour on his boat for one year...**one year**. When you asked me what I thought, I told you to go with him on his trip. I must be insane.

I can't let you go, but I also have no right to ask you to stay.

But please, please, don't go. I don't know how to do without you!

Booth

**AN: In these times it is good that we have fanfiction to keep us entertained and a chance to have some other thoughts than Corona. Please stay save and maybe use that little review box down there. **


	10. May 9, 2007

May 16, 2007

Dear Bones,

Love is in the air, right?

Hodgins and Angela do this little dance around each other, where he's proposing to her and she keeps telling him no. But he keeps asking anyway. I don't know if I could do that. I probably would've given up a long time ago. He obviously loves her very much to keep trying like that.

There we were, walking down to that old house, minding our own business, and all of a sudden we were talking about love and marriage again. You still kept boiling it down to hormones and symmetrical features. Your anthropological brain just works that way, I guess.

But what you were talking about is simply attraction, Bones, not love. You just don't get it.

When we were riding in the car later, you mentioned how our victim gave you some cooking advice. She told you that cooking for someone is another way to show your love...a way to say "I love you".

I agreed, because I have fond memories of family meals, especially when I was living with my grandparents.

I don't know how it happened, but out of the blue you were talking about emotional and physical intercourse, and that seemed to be a really big leap. You mumbled about your own needs, and my mind went just straight to the gutter.

Funny thing... you asked me,if you were making me uncomfortable, and of course I told you NO! What else could I say?

I guess I kinda lied by saying no. You didn't make me _emotionally_ uncomfortable, but _physical_ly uncomfortable? Oh yeah...

Okay, so my pants just got too tight, and if you would've noticed I would never hear the end of it, right?

Sometimes I think you're doing this on purpose, just to bug me.

When the case was closed, you invited me over for dinner. You made the best mac'n cheese I have ever tasted. You went to all that effort just for me. It was delicious, and believe me, I really felt loved and appreciated. It gave me hope, you know? Like maybe you really do care about me.

I cannot say how much I enjoyed the evening. Just you and me, eating dinner together like it was no big deal. It felt so domestic and so natural. It was hard to leave, because I just wanted to spend more time with you.

I hope we'll have that kind of life one day. You know, being together, coming home, making dinner together. Just the two of us. That's all I can dream of…well, okay, and taking you to bed later, but that's for another letter.

Thanks so much for dinner, Bones.

Booth

**AN: Please stay save and healthy. Maybe you have some time to leave a review, would make my time of social distancing a little easier. **


	11. May 16, 2007

**I thought in these times we need some distraction, so here is another chapter. Hope you like it!**

May 16, 2007

Dear Bones,

Well, I guess Angela finally said YES, even when Hodgins didn't ask her the right way. I mean, shrimps? Really?

The wedding was planned in a week, so everything was rushed and it was crazy. Hodgins asked me to be the best man for some reason, and I was okay with that. Then I found out that you were the maid of honor. When Hodgins told me that one of my tasks was to tongue kiss the maid of honor, I got some really strange ideas, you know? Ideas that maybe I shouldn't write down.

News of the wedding got around, so your Dad showed up, thinking it was us, right? Awkward...and then I had to arrest him, which was even more awkward.

And let me tell you, he didn't give up easily. He was asking for the fight, so I gave it to him, and I won, kinda, but I'm still hurting a bit where he slugged me right ….there. Yeah, I know, right? A low blow. No participation in the reproduction area for the next few days. Ouch.

The week went by quickly and the day came when we all met at the church for the wedding. You looked just beautiful in that purple dress, and I couldn't take my eyes off you. I mean...wow...

Then, when I told you that Max let me arrest him so he could be close to you, you suddenly threw yourself into my arms. I was overwhelmed ..touching your soft skin...inhaling your scent...it was incredible. I didn't even realize that I was still holding you in my arms when Angela and her father arrived at the altar.

That's what you do to me. You take my breath away.

I'll admit, it was a bit uncomfortable to stand there with you in front of the priest. Some crazy thoughts were running through my mind right then, and I think, maybe in your mind, too.

But the best part was how much I enjoyed the reception later that day. Dancing with you the whole evening...to have you in my arms for hours...holding you close...it was the best thing ever.

I'm still swaying.

Good night, Bones.

Booth

**AN: Next will be "The death in the saddle!" are you excited? Stay healthy and at home. **


	12. Oktober 9, 2007

Oct. 09, 2007

Dear Bones,

We had a really, really strange case which led to a lot of heated discussions between us, remember? People were engaging in some sort of pony play fetishes and weird fantasies, and it was those kinky sex games that got one of them killed. He lived like a horse and got put down like a horse...at least that's what we found out later. It was really gross...especially since the killer had removed his feet!

We went to an event at that hotel and I got some disturbing insights into pony play. Those guests have some horrible ideas about kinky sex, you know? I mean, who thinks that sort of thing is fun? Definitely not me!

I'll never get the picture of their meal out of my head. Those people were sitting there with their naked butts exposed, eating out of a trough like animals. Ugh.

Of course, you saw your chance to push all my buttons so you could make me squirm, right? You made people pretending to be horses so they could have sex sound almost normal, but there is no way that's even close to normal, Bones. No way...

And you still can't accept that I'm not a prude! I just happen to be a very private person. See, I don't need some crazy pony play to get me in the mood. That's just not my thing, okay?

Then, when we were sitting in the waiting room for our weekly session with our shrink, I made the mistake of telling you that I'd had some strange dreams about our case over the last few days .

So now you're teasing me because of it. Oh yeah, these dreams were crazy, but hot as hell too, and yes, you were in them, but I would never admit that to you. Get your own ideas.

Later that night I actually won an argument! You don't let me have the advantage very often, so it was kind of a big deal, okay?.

We were talking about the case again, and I told you that what those people were doing would only be crappy sex compared to the real thing...compared to making love. I told you about the spark that happens when two people meet and they're meant to be together.

You listened closely to me when I told you about becoming one...about breaking the laws of physics...and you suddenly agreed with me. I almost fell over.

I'm absolutely confident that if we ever get to that point, it'll always be making love between us. I have no doubt about it, and now I can't get that thought out of my head. I think I'll be heading for a cold shower now.

Yours

Booth

**AN: on you toube there are some videos of Booth and Brennan waiting in front of Sweet's office and talking about their cases. The videos are labeled wrong but they all are a lot of fun. I mentioned one of them in this letter. If you are interested look for: BONES-Couples Counseling: Soccer Mom in the Mini-Van**

_**PS 1: On Saturday it's my birthday. Because of the situation I have to celebrate with hubby only and the rest of family and friends are missing. Maybe some reviews can cheer me up. **_

**PS 2: Next up is the Mummy in the Maze, sure I couldn't let this one pass. Booth will have some very private thoughts. **


	13. October 31, 2007

**I told you, that Booth would never write M rated letters, but that doesn't keep him from dreaming, right. Booth is just a normal guy and sometimes the letters went where they want… **

Oct. 31, 2007

Dear Bones,

It's close to midnight and I still can't sleep. All the stuff that happened today is running around in my head. It's like having a rollercoaster in my brain, you know? I keep replaying all the ups and downs as I try to relax. I mean, I had to kill a man, and you know how I hate that, but on the other hand, we saved a girl, and that's a pretty good thing.

And then there's a funny little detail, because you shot me, right? Of course I know it was an accident, but how on earth were you even able to hide that big gun in that skimpy costume? Anyway, this is why I always tell you the gun goes first, and that's me. There's less chance of accidents that way.

Don't worry about my wound. It's small, like a graze, and it only hurts when I move in bed. I'll be good as new in a couple of days.

But here's the deal: a flesh wound, the girl we saved, the man I had to shoot...none of these things are what are keeping me awake tonight...not at all.

It's **you**...

..and that costume you were wearing.

Wonder Woman.

When you stepped out of that door in your costume, I had to give you the once over...and then I almost fell over. Your long beautiful legs , which seem to have no end in those high cut pants, are a big part of me finding no sleep, but mostly it's that tight corset that was part of your costume... and the beautiful low cut top that left a big part of your breasts uncovered.

So did you notice that I couldn't take my eyes off you? That I could hardly breathe at all?

Later, when you jumped on my back, your breasts were pressing into my neck, and it took all my willpower to stay focused on the case. Instead of chasing after the killer, I really wanted to push you up against the nearest wall I could find and have you wrap your long legs around my hips…

Totally unprofessional, right?

So now I have to get up from my bed to write this to you, because every time I close my eyes I see you in your costume again, and that's only more torture for me.

I wanted so badly to touch you, Bones...to let my fingers slide along the low cut neckline of your costume..along the swell of your beautiful breasts...to maybe dip one finger inside the tight fabric of this corset. I wanted to follow that line with my lips, and I can't stop my mind from going farther. I think you can imagine where it would end up, right?

I am screwed.

I don't know how to stop thinking about that, probably because something inside my head doesn't actually want me to stop thinking about it. It's like my brain wants to play that scene over and over again in my head, even when I'm working, and especially when I'm trying to sleep.

Maybe I should take another long, cold shower. It seems I've been doing that a lot lately.

So when I look tired over the next few days, it's your fault, you know?

Yours

Booth

**AN: The next letter is about one of my favorite episodes ever… **


	14. December 24, 2007

**This is one of my favorite episodes ever and I think, many of you would agree. **

Dec. 24,2007

Dear Bones,

So you made a funny deal with Caroline, right? You wanted your father and brother to have a nice Christmas celebration, and I get that, but she was feeling puckish, whatever the Hell that means, and in order to get them a Christmas celebration, her demand was that you had to kiss me under some mistletoe. How is that even supposed to be a deal?

You only told me about your deal with her shortly before it had to happen, and in no time I felt your lips pressing onto mine. Holy Cow, I couldn't believe my luck. You tasted like peppermint and honey and I couldn't get enough of you. Merry Christmas to me...

So I deepened the kiss, only to find you willing to play along. The moment I felt your tongue sliding into my mouth while you grabbed me by the lapels of my suit to pull me even closer was my undoing. I didn't want to stop and in the meantime I forgot all about where we were and that Caroline was watching us.

Did you notice that you made me lightheaded and confused for some seconds afterwards? Then I noticed your gum had somehow found its way into my mouth. That was so hot.

I had to leave quickly because I badly needed some safe place to calm down so I could stop my heart from beating wildly.

Sorry that I played that kiss down when we talked to Sweets. It wasn't "Nothing" to me, okay? It was everything, but the kid doesn't have to know that, right? What's ours is ours.

And then I got my second gift today. Parker surprised me by showing up at my office, and I got to have him until Christmas morning. I owe Becca, but I'll deal with that later.

We had so much fun decorating two Christmas trees, and he was so excited, jumping up and down, when we stood in that parking lot in front of the trailer to show you your tree. You know I could've stayed there forever, looking into your beautiful eyes and seeing the happiness in there.

I'd also like to kiss you under some mistletoe again, but this time with no one else around. Maybe we could make a different kind of Christmas magic, right?

Merry Christmas, Bones

Booth

**AN: So we've been through the year 2007. See you in 2008 and if you liked it, please leave a review. **


	15. April 28, 2008

April 28,2008

Dear Bones,

We had a really tough case, didn't we? A mother was killed and burned in her car, and then we found her baby up in a tree at the crime scene.

Bones, I was terrified, almost holding my breath until that baby had been rescued from that tree and was safe in my arms. He was such a cute little boy, but when I tried to hand him to you, you didn't want to hold him at first, afraid that you'd do something wrong.

Yeah, I'm the experienced dad, so handling a baby comes naturally to me, and I thought it would be easy for you, too, Auntie Bones, but I guess I was wrong, huh?

That's okay. It just takes time. You have to learn from experience and use common sense. You got me right? So yes, I can offer common sense about taking care of a baby.

First lesson for **you,** Bones: _A baby will put everything in his mouth, so babies and small keys don't go well together, okay?_

And I know it took some time, but you learned quickly, and it was nice to see how you bonded with the little guy.

You showed so much love and empathy for Baby Andy, and it was amazing to see how you interacted with him. It touched my heart, just knowing how compassionate you've been, you know?

You'd be a great mom.

In the end, you had a hard time letting him go. You made such an effort to give him to people who'd love him, and I know what a sacrifice it was, even though it was the right thing to do.

I have no words for how generous you've been to all the people of that little town...giving them work and new prospects for the next several years. I'm so proud of you.

I don't know if I've told you this, but I think you have a bigger and much more caring heart than people give you credit for.

Thank you for letting me see that part of you, Bones. It means so much that you trust me enough to be open with me.

You know, there were those moments, when we both slipped...when we talked about Andy as if he was our baby, and there was an instant...short moment, when I thought about us keeping him...you know, trying to adopt him. Weird thought, huh?

I know that's not rational. I mean, we aren't a couple, and it's not like we're living together but still...I could imagine what that would be like...

I guess something is burning deep inside me, like maybe a longing for a life we don't live now, and I wonder...will there ever be a time for us some day? A time when we'll move closer to each other? Would there ever be the possibility that us two could be a couple? That we could be in a loving relationship?

I can only hope right now. Sometime in the future, if we really get there, maybe we come to the point where we have a baby...our baby. Having a family with you would be a dream come true… and for now, I'll keep dreaming, okay?

Yours,

Booth

**AN: Also one of my favorite episodes. There were so many sweet moments between them. Thanks again for reading and if you like, leave me a review, I will appreciate it very much.**


	16. May 12, 2008

**Because it's the weekend and we all are still social distancing on our couch I think I wish you a happy weekend with another chapter. Have fun. **

May 12,2008

Dear Bones,

I am so, so bored. I'm sitting here with the Agents Burns, MacKenzie and Botterbloom. Yeah, I know, that's a funny name. You met him once, when we had that case with the dead body under the bleachers. He's the one with the crazy haircut. Anyway, they sit here and watch me, taking turns in shifts. I'm never really alone, but it's boring as hell anyway.

Us guys have talked about football, basketball, hockey and even soccer. Yeah, I know...I hate soccer, but that just goes to show how bored I am.

And the worst thing is that none of them is a Phillies fan, and that's not even tolerable. I keep yelling at the TV screen all by myself when my team is on, and they act like I'm crazy.

So now we've been through all the important topics there are to discuss, and I still have to hang out here for 7 more days. What are we gonna talk about now? Because you know, we aren't girls. We can't talk about other stuff, like our hair or our nails, or clothes. Guys only talk about sports, or maybe action thrillers, but that's it.

It's not like I can take up knitting or something like that, although, believe me, I've been so bored I've seriously considered it.

I'm not allowed to have any contacts outside, since there's so much at stake, so I spend my time eating, sitting on the couch, and going to sleep. Then the next day, it's the same thing all over again. Because of my wound, I'm not even allowed to work out. I'm getting fat!

You know, I should've listened more to Sweets when he told me Pam was dangerous. I didn't get that she was so jealous about you, or that regarded you as my girlfriend. I didn't get that at all.

So that's what other people think of us...that we're a couple, huh?

It was such a carefree evening, and you were singing '_Girls just wanna have fun_'. You were having fun...we were all having fun...and I couldn't take my eyes off you. You were just glowing, okay? Maybe that's why I didn't hear Pam calling my name the first time. I was in shock when I saw her pointing that gun in your direction and it was too late to pull my own weapon. All I could do is step in front of that bullet so you would be safe...and I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

The last thing I remember is you, begging me to hold on, and then I woke up in a hospital bed, surrounded by FBI agents and Director Cullen was standing right in front of me. I wanted to see you so badly but they didn't allow it, instead telling me about the plan to catch that guy who's been wanted for so long. I had no choice, believe me.

Anyway, I gave them a list with your name at the top so at least I know that you got notified that I'm not dead.

Do you miss me as much as I miss you? Because I really, really do miss you...

Sometimes at night, when I can't sleep, since I'm not really tired from doing nothing, I think of you. Uhm, I guess that's not exactly true, because I'm always thinking of you. I can't help it. You're always on my mind.

Maybe you're also laying in bed, thinking of me and the moment when we'll see each other again. That's a soothing idea, you know? I feel really connected to you in those moments.

I have different ideas about how our reunion would happen. I've been thinking up different places and situations, but no matter what, the plan always ends with you throwing yourself into my arms, hugging me tight, and at least in my dreams, we kiss.

I mean, really kiss, not French people meeting on the street. It's a hot ,open mouth kiss, with lots of tongue contact...you know, like that one we shared in your office at Christmas. I absolutely cannot get that mistletoe kiss out of my mind. My lips are still tingling from the memory of it.

Anyway, after the kiss, I finally whisper _I love you_ in your ear. At least in my dreams, I'm allowed to do that, but I don't know if I'll have the courage to really say it out loud when we're finally together again.

Sleep tight,

Booth

**AN: Because we never learned what Booth did during these 2 weeks I could write anything. That's what came out. Next letter will be a follow up. Please let me know what you think of it. **


	17. May 17, 2008

May 17,2008

Dear Bones,

First of all, I want to tell you that I'm really sorry. I know that's not nearly enough in this situation but I can't do anything else to undo this mess, you know?

They wouldn't allow me to go back home and get my things, and they wouldn't allow me to write anything to you. I had to be completely under wraps.

I promise, I gave them a list, and you were on top of it! I had to trust that they'd take care of it. I mean, they're FBI, right? They took away my phone and keys and took me to the safe house, where I had to stay for 2 weeks to recover from that gunshot wound.

I missed you so much. If only I had known that you thought that I was dead, I would've done everything in my power to reach you. What they did to you is tearing my heart apart, and I'll never trust those bastards again.

I know now that this was entirely Sweet's decision, and believe me, one day I'll call him out on this. We are not his lab rats!

I can't imagine what you've been through. I can just imagine how I'd feel if they'd told me that you were dead. It would've been devastating for me! I wouldn't be able to bear my life without you, and you had to live with the reality of my fake death for 14 days!

I was relaxing in that safe house, dreaming of how it could be between us...wondering when we'd see each other again...and in the meantime you were going through hell! I dreamed of you hugging me tight when you saw me again ( believe me, I really was looking forward to that) and wasn't prepared for your outrage. Don't get me wrong...you had every right to give me that right hook to the chin. By the way, it still hurts a bit...

On top of everything, in the evening you caught me in the bathtub! You really have no limits, do you, Bones? What about giving a guy a little privacy? By the way, you destroyed that record, and it was one of my favorites.

That same night I was going through the situation over and over again. I only wished I hadn't been wearing my crazy beer hat at that moment. Believe me, I love my beer hat and the comics and everything...even my little yellow ducky...but I know it must have looked kinda silly.

And when I was standing there in front of you, in my birthday suit, all I could think about was how embarrassing it was for me, because of the hat, not because I was naked. I don't think I have anything to worry about in those terms, and you clearly seemed to appreciate the view from your front row seat..

How I wish this situation could've had a completely different outcome...an absolutely different outcome involving both of us.

The next day we found out everything about Zack and his involvement with Gormogon (see, I can remember the guy's name). It always rips my heart apart to see you hurting. I understand how betrayed you felt, and I only can offer you my support and you always have my shoulder to lean on if you need it.

Yours,

Booth

**AN: I am still angry how Sweets handled the situation. This could have been much more different. **


	18. September 10, 2008

Sept. 10, 2008

Bones,

So I had to pick you up early, because we caught that outhouse case, and I got a nasty surprise, didn't I?

When I stepped into your apartment, I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. There was a man in your apartment! You know, a naked guy! I mean, he's a well structured guy, but Jesus! What's so wrong with wearing clothes? And the worst part of it was there was no doubt about what he was doing there!

I played it cool, but I am not cool with it...not at all.

Look, I know we aren't together, and I know I have no right to say anything about who you let into your bed, okay? It's just that I don't like the thought that there's anyone sleeping with you, and then to have direct evidence of what's going on thrown in my face? I don't like that, either! Not one damn bit!

Uggh! And then you tell me that he's only there to satisfy your biological urges. I get it, okay? The guy's a grenade in bed, right? He's the bomb.

Biological urges, my ass!

I don't wanna hear anything else about that clown, okay? I don't need details about how long he can hold his breath down there. Come on, Bones...we both know that we weren't really talking about 'underwater'.

And then, what a surprise when I found out about that other guy, the 'gay ' one, with his fancy Italian suit that was a size too small and Coldplay tickets, you know?

How can you even manage to date 2 guys at once? That's crazy!

So if you have one guy for your bed, and another guy for your brain, then what are you gonna do with me? What am I for? Which part of me is for you?

Then the jokers found out about each other, and obviously they didn't like the set up at all, did they? It seems that dating 2 guys at the same time isn't as easy as you'd thought it would be.

Later, when we were in Sweets' office, you felt left alone and rejected, wondering why your arrangement hadn't worked out.

I instantly felt sorry for you, in spite of myself I can't help it. If you're unhappy, I'm unhappy.

Then suddenly, there was a moment.

I told you that there's someone for everyone...someone you were meant to spend the rest of your life with. You just had to be open to see who that someone is, okay?

Bones, I was right in front of you. We locked eyes for a long time and there was this spark, this hope, that you'd see me as that someone. I tried to tell you with my eyes that you are the one for me. I hope you got the message.

I couldn't risk saying it out loud, not in front of the kid, anyway.

I'm that guy, Bones...the one for your bed, for your brain, and also for your heart. You can have it all in one man.

After all this time, can't you see that?

Booth

**AN: Hope you liked this one. If so, leave me a review, that will make my day.**

…**.**

**I got a review for my murderer story and the reader asked me to reply but she was not locked in so I cannot reply to the review. So if you are reading this story too, please leave another review locked in, so I can answer. Thanks. **


	19. November 12, 2008

Nov. 12, 2008

Dear Bones,

You know my brother Jared, right? Well, sometimes he's really a pain in the ass.

I absolutely didn't like him taking you on a date, okay? I mean, I talk a good game, but I didn't get any fucking sleep that night, because I was so worried that he might try to get in your pants. I know you think you can take care of yourself, but he's not to be trusted around beautiful women. No way...absolutely not!

I talked to Angela today, so I found out that he wasn't successful on that front, thank God. Listen, you're much too precious to just be another notch in his bedpost, and anyway, just so you know, he's the wrong BOOTH to be with, okay?

I know he fed you some crazy lines about me, alright?

Like saying I'm a loser.

And that I'm afraid of success.

And that me acting like that drove my old man crazy.

That made me so angry...I wanted to tear his damn head off, okay?

And as a thank you for screwing me over, I had to rescue him again and then I lost the credit for that big Rico case. Just great, right? I mean, there I was, just so furious because of his stupidity, and pissed off at you because you believed him.

So I'm sorry that I yelled at you, since he was the one to blame for everything, but sometimes my temper gets the better of me.

We celebrated my birthday later at the Founding Fathers.

Thank you for the great birthday toast by the way.. I was flattered. You said some really nice things about me, and it was like a band-aid on my wounded soul. Knowing that's how you see me? Yeah, it made me all warm and gooey inside.

Later I told Jared that he had to stop drinking, and that this would be the last time I'd bail him out. I don't think that he really got the message, though. He's such a stubborn kid sometimes.

And just so you know, when we sat on that bench in front of the founding fathers and I told you that my dad drank, it's because I don't want to keep any secrets from you. You deserve to know the truth, and I know that I can trust you with these things.

Anyway, it was nice to sit there with you and share that piece of cake. In the end, it looks like that was the best part of my birthday.

I felt so close to you, and that's the best gift I could get.

Thank you

Booth

**AN: Didn't we all held our breath that Brennan would fall for Jared, I did. Happy that she was smart enough to wait for the right Booth. **

**Tomorrow is mother's day and I haven't seen my daughter in person for month because of the corona virus. If you want to make me feel better, please leave a review. **


	20. November 19, 2008

Nov 19. 2008

Dear Bones,

I haven't slept for almost 36 hours because we had a flight to China and back without a break. Any normal guy would be dead to the world, but still I can't sleep because you're killing me, metaphorically speaking, that is. Okay...I'll admit it...you gave me another fantasy to dream about.

See, you always give me a reason to dream about you, or I guess you could say I don't even need a reason. It seems all of my thoughts are about you lately.

There we were on that plane, right? We had to solve a crime in those hours while we were in the air and as always, you did a terrific job, but that's not anything new, and I normally wouldn't give it a second thought.

Okay, maybe that popping eyeball, but Hell...that was ugly.

Anyway, you know...you had me all worked up when I came down that flight of stairs and you looked at me while you were wearing those big glasses. You looked so innocent...and sexy at the same time.

I absolutely had to say the line about the penalty for overdue books. I couldn't help it...the moment was just asking for it. (Okay, so it's mostly X-rated, low budget films that follow that storyline, but uuh, the situation is used a lot. Please don't ask me how I know about that.)

I couldn't hold back...so I openly flirted with you, but you had no idea what I was talking about. You just stared at me with those big, blue eyes. It took all my willpower not to act on the urge to just kiss you senseless, right there and then.

One day, **one day** we'll go back to that moment and then I'll take off your glasses and you'll loosen your hair...and then you can do everything you can think of to me as a penalty for having overdue books. I'll completely be at your mercy, okay? After all, those books are really, really late.

Later on, when we were drinking our champagne and talking about how we became partners and that kid asked about us making out, I know you had no idea about how much I would've loved to do just that for hours...all the way back to the US.

Bones, I think I'm falling deeper in love with you, and I can't fight it.

I'd better go borrow more library books.

Yours,

Booth

**AN: Even if the case was really gross this is still one of my favorite episodes. Do you agree?**


	21. January 22, 2009

Jan. 22,2009

Dear Bones,

I thought I was finally over it...you know, dreaming of you as a librarian...and now you've given me another reason for more sleepless nights.

We'd been undercover again, remember? We were pretending to be circus people with a knife throwing act. You were so reckless, and yet so trusting when I threw those knives in your direction. The truth is that I was sick in my stomach when you challenged me with every new item you pulled out of your little bag, but we got through it, right? Just like we always do.

Do you really trust me that much? Wow...I'm speechless...and touched. That means a lot to me.

Then you went up on that high wire and made me worry all over again. Bones, you're so precious to me. I can't stand the thought of you getting hurt, especially when you're under my watch. Listen, I'm your protector. Don't ever forget that, okay?

Anyway, you fell from the wire and with that, you solved the case. I couldn't really listen to your explanation, after I realized you were okay, because when you crawled out of that net and bent over, you took my breath away with the view. It was like 'Wanda' was being Wonder Woman all over again! How did you keep from bouncing out of that top when you fell? You have to stop that sort of thing, okay? Maybe you should think about wearing decent clothes in the workplace, huh?

I had to focus, but you made it hard for me...I mean, really hard. Where did you even get that hot costume? Jesus...

After we solved the case and stayed that last night in the trailer, I didn't really sleep at all. You were laying on your side next to me, still in that skimpy costume. The moonlight was shining through our window and gave enough light so I could watch you sleep. Your chest was rising with every breath you took, and it was like I was hypnotized. I couldn't look away. So much of your luscious, tempting soft skin was spilling out of that tight bodice.

With every breath, I was hoping for more creamy white skin to be revealed. My thoughts were running wild.

I confess, in my dreams, the bodice wasn't staying in place, okay? None of your costume was left in the end, and none of mine was either. We were making that trailer rock for real the whole night long, believe me.

So how will all of this end? I don't know if I can keep my secret much longer...the secret of loving you, and wanting you for myself seems determined to be revealed.

This is torture...sweet, sweet torture.

I love you, Bones.

Booth

**AN: In my opinion in season 4 Booth revealed that he was in love. He might have pretended otherwise and for a little longer but he couldn't hide it anymore, at least not from us, the audience. **

**If you still like my letters, please let me know. Have a nice weekend and stay healthy. **


	22. February 5, 2009

**Readers who are not writers seldom go to their profile page. That's sad because Fanfiction stopped to send you an email when you have a PM. I used to reply to reviews, I really found friends here by doing so. I still do but not so much anymore because mostly, people don't even realize that I had sent them an answer. So you might want to check your PM inbox now and then. Just today a got an answer to a PM from a year ago. **

February 5, 2009

Dear Bones,

I'm sitting here in my bed tonight, and I'm afraid to go to sleep...afraid to close my eyes, afraid that the nightmares will start...that I'll be back on that derelict ship, back in that small space and buried alive.

I know...you offered me to stay with me this evening, and I was too proud to say yes. I regret that immensely right about now.

The Gravedigger got me at my apartment, just when we were going to meet for a nice party in your honor. I'm still confused how this could happen...how I ended up on that ship. She must have drugged me, I guess, but I don't know how she got me downstairs.

And yes, we know now that the Gravedigger is Heather Taffet.

You had a funny look on your face when I told you that I wasn't alone on that old ship. Believe it or not, I got help from Teddy Parker, a young soldier who died in combat while he was spotting for me. Deep down, I've always known it wasn't my fault, but for years I still blamed myself for his death. He was young, you know? Still kinda green…

A part of me knew he couldn't really be there on the ship with me, since he's been dead for many years, but I'm telling you, it felt so real. _**He was there**_. I couldn't have managed everything I did to escape without him.

He told me not to worry anymore about being responsible for his death. He assured me that I'd ordered him multiple times to stay down, but he still made a mistake. It was such a relief for me to hear him say that. Now I can finally have some peace about it...I can forgive myself, I guess.

He told me that this is not the only purpose for him to be there. We talked about life and love and he admitted to me that he has been too afraid to tell his girl that he loved her and that this is his biggest regret, not telling her.

He also told me that maybe there's someone in my life, too, that I love like he loved Claire, and maybe I was too afraid to tell her.

Oh, Bones, this was totally on point. He nailed it! I instantly knew who he was talking about.

You know, I've told multiple people that I love them. So why is it so hard to tell you?

What can I do? I want to tell you, but I'm so worried that I'll push you away...that you'll close up and run away from me.

I know I have to be patient. I'm waiting for the right moment...our moment.

Meanwhile, I'll have to be satisfied with knowing that at least I can write it down again and again.

I love you...

I love you...

I love you!

Booth

**AN: I am actually writing a new story starting right here where the letter ends. I promise a lot of romance and fluff. Interested?**

**Stay safe and healthy**

**Doge**


	23. April 15, 2009

April 15, 2009

Dear Bones,

So we had a case where the victim's body was found between some layers of cardboard. Turns out her name was Merial Misakos, a soon to be bride, and it seems she was pretty much a bridezilla, right?

Over the next few days, you were like a loose cannon, firing off endless arguments against marriage to anyone who would listen. It seemed like you just couldn't stop yourself...you had to prove your point.

You know, you said some really horrible things there, Bones. It's a good thing that I know you, because sometimes you can be really rude, even if you don't mean to.

See, marriage isn't a barbaric expectation imposed by a prudish society, and it's not an antiquated ritual, okay? It's two people making a commitment to share a life...vowing to stay together for the rest of their lives. I hope that one day you'll change your view about marriage...I really do. I have to keep hoping, or I'll go crazy.

Anyway, for the case we had to investigate a bridal shop, remember? It was kind of strange to go in there with you, especially with all that wedding gear laying around, and then things got really awkward when the owner told us that we're obviously made for each other. I disagreed half heartedly because, truth to be told, I secretly think what she said is true. I think that you're the one for me...that we're meant to be with each other. But I knew you would've killed me if I'd said anything like that out loud, so I just pretended like it was no big deal.

You know, I think we're a long way off from talking about that...marriage, I mean...but I'm dreaming about it. Seems I can't help it.

What gave me some hope was our celebratory drink after we'd closed the case.

You came to my home and confiscated my best scotch. Hey, go easy with that stuff, okay? That bottle was 40 bucks!

Surprisingly, as we talked, I found out there's a romantic woman hidden somewhere inside you. Please let that woman out more often, okay? That was so cute! You talked about jealousy and your wish to understand and maybe find that kind of love, saying that you envy us all for being able to experience it.

Bones, it's so easy, okay? Just open your eyes! I'm right in front of you, waiting for you to notice that I love you with all of my heart. Is that so hard to see?

Am I so hard to love?

Can't you see me in your life for the next few years, or maybe even forever?

I'm not going anywhere. I'll wait for you to see it.

Booth

**AN: Thanks for your nice feedback regarding my new story. Gives me lots of energy to hurry a bit. Funny thing is that I have written a fanfic what is following this letter here. If you haven't read it look at my profile. The title is "The murder in the honeymoon". Have a nice weekend and stay safe and healthy. **


	24. April 19, 2009

**This letter is the special wish from Vmf447, hope you like it**.

April 19, 2009

Dear Bones,

I'm kinda furious because tonight I learned something awful about your past. You know, I've always imagined that you didn't have an easy time living with those foster families, but I was thinking more along the lines of not getting enough attention, or maybe not having the best room in the house, just a few new clothes or something like that. I didn't really want to think farther than that, even if you'd hinted sometimes about how badly the foster families had treated you.

And I remember when you told that little kid that they thought you were garbage and that you had to carry your belongings in a garbage bag.

But to finally find out that they'd abused you is just too much for me to handle. Nobody had the right to do that to you or to anybody at all, for that matter! Those rotten bastards...I hope they burn in hell!

I asked you for names, because I want to go after them, even if the case is obviously past the statute of limitations. I think they've done this kind of shit to other foster kids, too...hell, I guess it's possible that maybe they're still doing it, you know? I need to check it out!

Bones, you told me you didn't remember their names, but I don't believe you...not one bit. I know you don't want to relive that time of your life, right? You don't want to be confronted with these scumbags ever again.

I get that, okay, but you deserve closure...you deserve justice. You were held hostage and easily could've died in the trunk of that car! I don't even want to think of the terror you felt. You were just a kid, and they pulled that shit on you? Jesus...

Those people were monsters. They should be put behind bars and never allowed to go free again.

Thinking of that makes me want to punch something really, really hard.

I hope that someday you'll be open enough with me to tell me their names. Bones, I'm a cop now, okay? I can do something about it, and I will! There's no doubt about that...you can count on it.

Anyway, for the whole evening I couldn't get the picture of you being locked in that car trunk out of my head. I even couldn't really follow the conversation, okay? And you were giving me that knowing glance. You knew exactly what I was thinking about, right?

Later that night, after dinner, I took you guys home...first Sweets, then you.

I walked you to your door, because I needed to be there for you. I wanted to make it right...to take away your pain...to make you forget.

So I had to take you in my arms and hold you. There was no way the day would end without me comforting you. I wanted to do that from the minute you'd told Sweets about what happened, but I couldn't do anything as long as the kid was hanging around. He's writing a book about us, after all, and we don't need to feed him any more material.

I was grateful that you let me hold you close for such a long time. You know, I could've stayed there forever in front of your door, just holding you, letting my hands move up and down your back as I felt your head resting on my shoulder, your breath tickling my skin.

Hope you don't mind the kiss I pressed into your hair. I just couldn't help it.

I love you.

Booth

**AN: So in the end we learned something that they didn't air on the show, right. **

**Next letter will be about a childish word game in a shrink's office. The topic will be sperm. **

**Have a great weekend, stay safe and healthy, wear your mask and keep your distance and wash your hands. Doge**


	25. May 7, 2009

May 7, 2009

Oh Bones,

I'm waiting here in my hospital bed, so I asked the nurse for a pencil and piece of paper to pass the time while you went out to the waiting room to talk to our friends about my condition.

How in the hell did I end up here?

It all started in Sweet's office over a childish word game, right? Somehow we ended up with you asking for my sperm. I can't even believe that now that I'm writing it down, but there it is.

You miraculously figured out that it'd be a good idea to procreate, and lucky me...I'm the one you chose to be the father of your child.

There was this short, short flash in my mind that we'd finally be there, taking that next step, becoming one, creating new life… but no, silly me and my crazy ideas...you just wanted my sperm. You know that's kinda insane, right?

When I wasn't forthcoming right away, you suggested Fisher as the donor… Fisher! No fucking was that gonna happen, so I agreed to help you out, as crazy as it was.

Leave it to you, right? No messing around...you just leapt into action and got me an appointment at the fertility clinic. It was so embarrassing when the nurse left me in that room with that cup shoved in my hand. Everybody around knew what I was doing in there.

Just when I thought things couldn't get worse, the Family Guy baby showed up. I know now what caused it to seem like he was talking to me, but it terrified me at the time.

So it's understandable that I had some problems getting into the mood, but finally I closed my eyes, imagining it was just the two of us, creating a new life the old fashioned way, skin to skin, becoming one, tumbling together over the edge, and I got the job done.

Who would imagine that I could start my own country. Seeley Booth at top of the list as always, right? Sorry to brag...I'm just trying to improve my mood a bit right now.

Because that talking cartoon baby showed up again, so we found out about the tumor and I'll have surgery soon.

Bones, please stay at my side. You'll know if they mess up. okay? I admit, I'm scared as hell.

Look, this is serious. If I didn't make it through the operation, I want you to use my stuff. I want you to have my baby. I kinda like entertaining the idea of a little Bones running around, looking just like you.. and a bit like me.

I know you'll come back soon. I'll put this letter on my bedside table. They'll find it if something happens to me and then hopefully someone will give it to you.

Don't ever forget, I love you with all of my heart.

Booth

**AN: So, here is the promised letter.**

**I hope you all are safe. My thoughts are with the people in the US. If there is one thing we all can learn from Bones is how to live together as humans and respect each other. **


	26. May 25, 2009

May 25,2009

Dear Bones...or is it Bren?

Jesus, I am so confused.

I know now that I've had brain surgery, I was in a coma for 4 days afterwards, and that I work for the FBI.

I remember that you're my partner and you work at the Jeffersonian. Together we solve crimes. We are not club owners.

I have to accept that we're friends.. we're not in a romantic relationship, and really aren't married. You're not pregnant with my baby.

For 4 days I've lived in an alternative universe. Then, when I woke up, I didn't know who you were...the Bren of my dreams, or the Bones I thought I remembered. I was confused and scared and I'm sorry I gave you a shock. You tried to play it cool, but I could see it in your eyes. You were horrified, okay? And I understand why.

I didn't want to leave my dream world behind. We were so happy there...you and me together. It all felt so real.

I can't let that world go. It would break my heart to admit that it wasn't real. If I could choose, I'd want to go back immediately.

But here I am, alone in my hospital bed. You left in a hurry when I didn't recognize you right away. I was so confused, that's all. I am so sorry.

The squints, Cam, and Angela and Hodgins all came to visit me, and I remembered them all...names and everything. I don't have any brain damage. I just got some things wrong when I woke up.

I miss you so much. They told me you've left for a dig, but to me it seems like you're running away...away from me, away from the situation, away from your feelings, like you're afraid.

I didn't want to scare you, believe me. After all, you saved my life.

I promise you this: I will fight, Bones. I'll fight to get my life back, to get you back. If only you'll be my partner again, that'll be enough for now.

But I need to talk to you about what I've seen, about that life...the one we _aren't_ living now.

You know, I dreamed about you having our child. Maybe that's because of what we were planning right before we found out about my tumor. I don't know...

Anyway, I found the letter I wrote to you...the one I'd left in my nightstand before my surgery. In that letter, I told you that I love you. I still feel that way, now even more than before.

Bones, please come back to me soon.

I miss you so badly.

Booth

**AN: I still have my problems with Brennan, running away and leaving him alone. **

**Hope you all are still safe and healthy. If you like, leave me a review. **


	27. September 24, 2009

**This letter is for grc73, as special wish from her. I didn't have it on my list and it turns out, this is the longest letter so far. Maybe Booth was in the mood for writing. **

September 24, 2009

Dear Bones,

Or should I say, Miss Rolex?

We had a talk about that, since I don't make as much money as you, and you wondered if that makes me uncomfortable.

Yes, that feeling is kind of hardwired in men, but I don't feel threatened by you. Even if I was at the top of the FBI, I'd never be able to make as much money as you do, and actually, that's fine with me.

So why should I make a big deal out of it? I'm self confident enough to know that I do a good job, although it's mostly because of your help.

That's what we are: Bones and Booth, catching the bad guys.

For us, solving crimes can't be measured in money, right? It's much more than that. We're more than that.

Usually you don't even care about how wealthy you are. You don't boast about your money, or let's say, most of the time you don't. You just had to shove that watch right into my face, right, Miss Rolex?

Don't worry, though. I think it was you just sharing facts like always. I know you didn't even intend to brag. I actually found it to be very cute.

And sometimes you let me take advantage of your possessions and let me drive your Mercedes. You know how I love that, right?

Now all we have to work on is that big screen TV, since you still don't have one. You know, I can help you pick one out. Just let me shop with you. It'll be fun, okay? You can even talk me into installing it for you. Deal?

Later, when we were lying on the floor under the sink, we talked about how we still feel close to each other...we don't have to worry about money being an issue that stands between us.

You know, after Sweets talked about my brain damage and made me unsure about my feelings for you, I was hesitant, not knowing if he was right, even though my heart told me otherwise. I forgot about these letters...I just found them a few days ago in my desk. I've read through them and I know now that I've been in love with you for years. It isn't about my brain, it's about my heart, okay? Avalon was right, and Sweets was talking nonsense.

I need a word with him. That kid again messed with me!

So when we were there under the sink, I wanted to tell you how close I feel to you. I wanted to tell you that I love you. I was one hairbreadth away from blurting it out. I wouldn't have stopped after telling you, either, I would've shown you. I wanted to kiss you, right there on my kitchen floor. And I was gonna kiss you hard, so that you wouldn't have any doubt, okay? Kiss you so you'd know I meant what I said, but then that damn pipe chose that moment to burst again and our moment was gone.

When I finally got the chance to turn off the water, we both were soaked. You halfheartedly complained about your watch, but we both were shaking with laughter about the situation...

...until we couldn't laugh anymore because I suddenly realized that the water had not only soaked me through, it had made your blouse nearly transparent. Oh God, Bones...forgive me for staring, but I couldn't look away! That white fabric clinging tight to your body...and even the lacy bra beneath your blouse was wet and leaving not much for the imagination. You were so beautiful.

Sorry for just rushing out like I did…but you got why I fled the room, right? It wasn't just to dry off...

I was afraid I wouldn't be able to control my actions at that moment. I tried to calm down and finally came back with a towel. We dried your clothes in my dryer while you wore one of my old t-shirts and some of my sweatpants...as if that made the situation any easier for me.

I think you must've sensed what was going on, and I felt your irritation. Oh God, I hope I didn't scare you, okay? That's the last thing I wanna do. I hope you always trust me being around you.

But seriously, how can I hold back anymore? I don't know. I want you so badly, and not only your body. I want the whole package that is you.

I've had a peek at another life and I can't let it go now.

I love you so much.

Booth

**AN: I am all about love and romance today because it's our wedding anniversary and we are on vacation, so let's celebrate a bit.**

**For the rest of the time stay healthy and safe. **


	28. October 15,2009

Oct. 15.2009

Dear Bones,

You really drive me nuts sometimes, you know? You just blurted out that Hacker wants to take you on a date so he can have sex with you. Are you out of your mind?! HACKER? You know he's my boss, right? And besides I really don't like the idea of you and him…you know….together...like that...you know…

Actually, to tell the truth, I don't like the idea of you being with anybody else than me.

He even asked me if I'm okay with it! He was worried that he was interfering with something! I was such a coward, because I should've told him yes, that it's a problem for me, but instead I kept quiet. Just thinking about that mistake...I could slap myself in the face for that...several times.

I told you that I didn't want to be the topic of your conversation, but you didn't listen to me, did you? I knew it. You just couldn't keep your blabbermouth shut, could you? You had to spill the beans!

And then you only got what you'd done wrong when I shoved that egg right into your face. Hey, I never shared that meat loaf story with anyone. That was only between you and me, understand? I don't need Hacker knowing all the details of my life!

You've just called and I have to leave, so I'll finish this letter later…

I am so glad that you asked me to be your date when the Egyptians threw you that party. I thought that you would've preferred to go with _you know who_.

You looked stunning that night. That dress hugged your curves perfectly. Did you notice that I couldn't keep my eyes from falling to that breathtaking neckline and all that smooth skin waiting there? It was such a beautiful moment when we were there alone in the exhibition, talking about how you changed history.

You said very nice things about me too. Thanks...I was flattered.

And then I held my breath when you told me that what goes on between us should be ours alone. Many pleasant things crossed my mind. I was thinking about what could...what should happen between us.

My eyes were focused on your soft lips and my heart started drumming in my chest. I felt that this was the right moment...that, when I kissed you, you wouldn't object… that you'd want that, too.

Just at that moment, when I leaned in to close the gap between us, the squints came around the corner and crashed our moment.

I swear, if I'd had my gun with me, I would've shot them all.

And now I don't know how to get that moment back.

Yours,

Booth

**AN: Hope you still like the letters, please let me know in your review. **


	29. November 12,2009

**This letter is for GalaxieGurl as a special thanks. We became friends gushing about Bones, life and wedding dresses. Thank you for the prompt. Hope you like it. **

November 12, 2009

Dear Bones,

I've really been a bad shot at the firing range lately, and I have to do my yearly certification soon.

Jesus, I mean, like really bad...like nearly missing the targets all along the wall. That sucks!

You told me in your blunt way that maybe I don't practice enough Phfft!

I was concerned, you know, thinking that maybe it had something to do with my tumor. I think that something up in the brain box there is messed up bigly.

I couldn't ask Sweets for advice, so I went to see Gordon Gordon. He's a chef now, you know. I told him that he had to help me fire my gun...and I think it came out wrong.

Can you imagine what he asked me first? He wanted to know if it was a sexual problem, like I can't fire my gun when I want...you know…_that_ gun...right? Of course, that's not my problem…at least I hope not.

I was getting desperate because of the situation with my certification. It was coming up fast.

And you know, we had this case with that little guy who was in love with his sister in law. I had some strange insights, and I came to the conclusion, okay? If a guy can't have the woman he loves, he might get a little crazy. Is this what I am, a little crazy is that why I can't shoot straight?

You've chatted a lot with Gordon Gordon in the past. I've noticed that, but there must be something important you've told him, because he thinks you might love me, if not right now, at least at some point in the near future. I only have to be patient.

That's at least how I understood it when I talked to him in the kitchen.

He told me that I'm in love with you, too...that I've even built my world around you...even making a family.

What do other people see in us, as in love? I mean, it really makes me wonder, because Avalon said something similar...that I only have to give it time.

I explained to Gordon Gordon that me and you aren't compatible and that we aren't meant to be together...and that I would know if you loved me.

But he's also right, because the heart chooses what the heart chooses.

Obviously my heart chose you a long time ago, and so I'll sit here and try to wait for you patiently…looking forward to the end, when we can be together. That's all I am longing for.

Gordon also told me that I'm your protector and I should grow a set. He said I wouldn't fail in your presence.

Of course, I am your protector! Hey, that's what I always tell you, right? Gun goes first!

And he was right, too. I asked you to come with me to the test and I did great, because of you being there.

So Gordon Gordon was correct this time, and I hope he'll also be correct with everything else, because I can't change my heart. It always chooses you, Bones.

Booth

PS: I can't forgive him for serving that semen thing at his restaurant. It still creeps me out.

**AN: Because I got this prompt only this week and wrote this letter yesterday evening, Laura did a perfect job in editing it over night (thanks to the time difference). Hope you like it.**

**Have a great weekend, stay safe and healthy, wear your masks and wash your hands. **


	30. October 9, 2009

**Dear readers, sometimes live is messy and confusing and not Laura nor me noticed, that we skipped a letter that was already finished and waited to be published. So this letter is before "The night at the bones museum". I think you don't mind, but we didn't want to leave it out.**

October 09, 2009

Dear Bones,

So for some reason, Parker decided that he needed to find me a girlfriend, right? I mean, he's a kid, so why would he care? I was so confused about why he'd think that was necessary.

Sweets' suggestions were absolutely not helping, either. Can you believe it? He suggested I should let Parker see how I interact with women! Okay, I admit...I kinda understood that idea wrong at first, but he's really making me feel inadequate with his stupid shrinky ideas.

Then he lectured me about the five stages of psychosexual development, which is just a lot of shrinky mumbo jumbo, telling me that Parker needs help to identify with his gender parent. Sweets was absolutely wrong about that, too. I know Parker identifies with me!

Why do we even trust Sweets with anything?

Finally we found out, or I should say, you found out, that Parker's plan to get me a girlfriend was all about having a pool.

I can't thank you enough for inviting us to be your guests, allowing us to use the pool in your apartment building. Parker was right; you are awesome!

You also agreed to be my "village with 800 people", as you put it, to help me with Parker's "development".

That means so much to me, Bones...more than I can say, okay?.

So today, we finally took you up on your offer and spent a Saturday afternoon at your pool.

Hey, it would have been fair that you had given me a warning, you know? When you slipped out of your bathrobe and showed off that sexy swimsuit...Jesus! Listen, I know you'd argue that it wasn't revealing at all, being a one piece suit in a dark blue fabric...but I can't concur, because the high cut made your legs look endlessly long and so gorgeous. That low cut neckline showed much more of your delicate skin than is good for me, and I was sorely tempted, but, you know, Parker was around, so I had to control myself.

Don't ever tell me again that you are not good with kids. Parker was thrilled to be there. We had so much fun in the water, and you were really perfect around him. You know that, right? He had a blast. He's in bed now, but he couldn't stop babbling about that cannonball dive you did, simultaneously splashing me and the piece of cake I was enjoying in my pool chair. Thank you very much., okay? Just between you and me...it was worth it to see how happy he was.

Afterwards, you invited us up to your apartment, and we ordered pizza and watched television together. You were explaining every detail in that documentary to Parker, and I was flooded with warmth as I took it all in. I was so domestic, just like we were a little family. This is what I always imagine in my dreams...me and you...and our kids...having a wonderful evening at home after a busy day.

I want to have that someday, for real, not in dreamland, and I want to have that with you.

Thank you for this wonderful day.

Booth

**AN: I really didn't want this letter left unread in the box, right. With the next letter we will be back on track and even if it is hot summer, there will be Christmas and evidence to be collected. Excited?**


	31. December 23, 2009

Dec.23,2009

Holy shit, Bones! What a day!

It started out when I happened to be near a bank where a robbery was taking place, and then the villain ended up dying with a big, loud bang.

Unfortunately, the story we heard about what had really happened to the guy was so sad, and even more heartbreaking because it all happened right before Christmas.

So with all that, why am I in the best mood ever?

Because today one of the many fantasies I've had about you became a reality!

Okay...nearly!

It was kinda close to what I've dreamed of...close enough that thinking about it gets me worked up all over again.

I ended up being evidence because I got all the goop of the bombing on my clothes.

No...that wasn't what I was dreaming about, okay?

When I think back on it now, were we even following protocol with both of us alone in that room while you were stripping me nearly naked?

Doesn't matter. I don't care. I enjoyed every second of it, even if it made me flushed and uncomfortable at the same time.

Look, I know you've seen me completely naked before, so technically this was no big deal, right? But this time it felt different. Your hands were running over my clothes...my body...removing everything with special care. You were so close to me. I was looking into your eyes...at your lips...

You know, lots of my fantasies about you start with both of us removing our clothes. Lots and lots of them...

But today, I was the only one who got stripped.

I tried so hard to concentrate on what you were saying, so I could follow the conversation while you were inviting me to your Christmas dinner, but it's hard to talk and hold your breath at the same time.

Then when you got down on your knees, well... that was nearly my undoing. I had to recite all the Saints I could think of and pray that I wouldn't react in any way. It seems that sometimes my body can be very traitorous, especially when you're around.

When you lowered the zipper in my pants, your fingers brushed against me and my heart skipped a beat. Did you do that on purpose? You know, sometimes I think you like pushing my buttons just to make me squirm.

When Cam stormed into the room, I'm not sure if I liked it or not. The situation looked so embarrassing for me, but on the other hand, I enjoyed your attention very much.

The truth is, she absolutely killed the mood, and maybe that was the best thing for me so I didn't embarrass myself in public.

Now I'm finally home after a long day, and I am enjoying a nightcap on my couch.

I am absolutely sure that later, when I go to bed, I'll close my eyes and replay that scene again and again in my head.

Only this time, the door will be locked, and you won't stop with removing my pants. We'll get to a point where it won't actually be about collecting evidence, you'll use more than just your hands on me.

Geez, my thoughts are in the gutter right now, aren't they? Sorry. I can't help it.

I can't get you out of my mind.

Booth

PS: I'm really looking forward to our Christmas Dinner tomorrow. Maybe we'll be lucky and find some mistletoe hanging in a doorway somewhere. That would make it a perfect Christmas for me.

**AN: This is the last happy letter for some time now. We are going into end season 5 and beginning of season 6. There are some letters but I could hardly think of Booth writing a lot while he was with Hannah. Please stay with me for this time, there will be romantic ones after that, I promise. We are not done here. **


	32. April 8, 2010

April 8, 2010

Dear Bones,

I am sitting here, crying like my life has gone to hell, and I can't stop.

What will I do now? My whole world has turned upside down.

To get some perspective, I decided to just write stuff down, even if this is the last letter that I'll ever write to you. I never thought I'd write this line, but…**you just broke my heart.**

I always thought that someday we'd be together. I thought I only had to be patient enough. I never lost hope. I saw the signs, you know? At least I thought so. How was I so wrong?

Sweets pushed me to gamble today. I took the risk, and I lost, big time.

All I asked was for you to give us a chance. I thought we were finally on the same page. I didn't expect you to say no...that you could never...you know.

How will I face you tomorrow? Yes, I get it, okay? We agreed that we'd still work together. But, honestly, the way I'm hurting right now, how can I do that?

Until tonight, I lived with the expectation that we'd be a couple someday, but tonight you turned me down cold.

What will I do with all these letters that I've written to you? They're mocking me now, staring back at me from their box. They were so full of hope that….that may there'd be a **Someday**?

And now it's **Never**?

I feel the urge to just destroy them, rip them apart, and burn them up on the stove. I am so desperate.

I wrote down my feelings, okay? I emptied my heart to you.. and now all that's left is a huge empty hole inside of me.

You are the love of my life... at least I thought so.

I know I told you I have to move on, but I don't know how to do that. I can't move on because I still love you.

Oh God, Bones, while I was writing this down, it hit me like a bus.

I've never told you that I love you...not even tonight.

I've asked for a chance, and made it sound like gambling.

I am such a goddamn fool.

Maybe if I'd told you the truth...maybe tonight would've had a different outcome. I should've told you that I love you exactly how you are. You don't have to change for me. You're perfect the way you are. That's why I fell in love with you in the first place...because you're you.

You know what, Bones? I'm not giving up on us. I'm not going anywhere, okay?.

I'll try to give you space so you can come to your own conclusions. I'll distance myself from you for a while.

Maybe...maybe deep down inside my heart there's a small little spark of hope. I have to hold on to that or I'll go crazy.

Because I can't move on.

Booth

**AN: This is the first of the letters I really didn't like to publish. But we have to go this together. Please let me know what you think of it**.


	33. Apri 15, 2010

April 15, 2010

Dear Bones,

These last few days were torture for me...pure torture.

We had to travel to Illinois for a case at your old high school. It happened that there was a reunion going on that weekend, which was a surprise. Why didn't you tell me about that in advance? Probably because reunions can be awkward, right?

Sweets told us that we shouldn't let anyone know that we're FBI and that the reunion would be a good cover, allowing us to investigate the murder.

The kid still has no clue what pain he's caused, does he?

So we had to be undercover again, acting like a married couple. I was your husband Bobby Kent.

Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to act like your husband, knowing that it's someone I'll never be?

I know I told you that I have to move on, but I can't. I still love you, okay? It's not like I can just turn it off.

Anyway, I promised to keep some space between us, but then you asked me to hold you close while we were dancing. You said it was the prom you never had.

You've been giving me some strange signals, okay? Right now I'm more than confused.

It was awesome to have you in my arms, holding you close. I didn't want that dance to end. It felt like you were open to me again. I'd like to be there with you forever. It was like a dream, dancing with you that night.

Why can't you see that we're perfect for each other?

But then the dream ended when we solved the crime.

On our way back from the reunion you were already crawling back into your shell. I really could feel the walls going back up.

Bones, please...don't put those walls back up. Please don't run from me. I need you in my life, I can't do without you.

This situation is killing me.

I'll try to distract myself, though. Maybe I'll even go out on a date.

But Bones, you're the standard, okay? There could be no one like you. I can't think of anybody else out there for me. I just can't.

I still think there might be a little ray of hope. Maybe someday...maybe you'll change your mind about us.

That hope is the only thing that keeps me going.

Booth

**AN: These letters are not getting easier. Please stay with me, there will be happy times again, but not so soon**.


	34. May 20, 2010

May 20, 2010

Dear Bones,

We've parted ways, haven't we? I still can't believe it.

Over the last few months you'd been distancing yourself from me more and more. You were always depressed and sad. You told me that you'd had these horrible nightmares and I told you that maybe you needed a break. I was thinking of a week or two, okay? I never meant it should be for a whole year!

Then you got an offer to go on a one year dig in the Maluku islands (see, I really do know the name) and I got an offer from the Army to do another year of training troops in Afghanistan.

And we both agreed to these offers, telling everyone that it was our duty, yours to science, and mine to our country. But who are we kidding? We both know better.

Let's say it like it is. We were running from each other...getting as far apart as we could.

So now I'm sitting here in the middle of the goddamn desert, missing you like hell. I really would like to send you this letter, but I don't know how. I haven't got your address because when you left, you didn't know what it would bet. So I have to wait for you to send me a letter to let me know where you are.

Your email address isn't working, and neither is your phone.

So this letter won't be sent, like all the others I left in that box at home.

You know, most of the other guys have photos from their girlfriends, fiancées or wives at the front of their lockers, but I can't do that. I don't know how to explain it to them...that you are none of the above, but you still hold my heart.

I do have a photo of you and Parker...the one I took of both of you at the science fair 4 month ago. I keep it in my wallet, and sometimes in the evening, when I am alone in my room, I take it out and look at it for minutes.

I miss you both so much...and it really hurts. I can't wait to see you again

I know now that I don't belong here. Taking the Army's offer was a huge mistake. I feel displaced and alone.

I've been here for 2 weeks now, okay? Time has been dragging by, so I've had some time to think. And now I feel like it was my fault that we split...that we ran from each other. How can I survive the next months knowing I caused this problem?

Bones, I still love you so much.

Booth

**AN: I know, I know, but it must getting worse before it gets better, ok! Please stay with me, I promise you, when all this is over, there will be happy letters again, pinky swear. **


	35. July 31, 2010

July 31, 2010

Dear Bones,

I've been here for 3 months now, and I still haven't heard from you. No letters, no emails...nothing.

So...how are you doing? Are you staying safe? Do you eat enough? Is the dig successful?

So many questions and no answers, and it's driving me crazy, okay? I worry about your safety all the time. You know, I'm still your protector, even if technically I'm only not allowed to act like that right now. I can't help it...I can't get you out of my head.

I've felt so lost lately. Did you really move on? Don't you care about me anymore?

Am I forgotten? Maybe I'm not on your mind anymore, but you're still on mine, just like always.

When I think of all the years we worked together, how we had fun together, how we went through hell together...we were best friends, right? Now it's like none of it ever happened. There are so many memories that we share, and I'm so afraid that I've lost you forever.

It's like I'm keeping those memories alive all by myself now.

And I'm hurting like hell.

What can I do? How can I reach you? Is this thing between us over? Aren't we even friends anymore? It feels like we aren't, believe me.

I'm desperate.

I'm sitting here alone tonight, missing you, and thinking that maybe you aren't coming back home to me. The photo I have of you and Parker is the only thing that keeps me upright right now. I've looked at it so often that it's already crumpled at the edges.

There's a big hole inside me, okay? I'm feeling empty and heartbroken.

So I think I really have to get used to the idea that I have to move on, too. Our ship has sailed.

I have to find someone who can love me, okay? Someone who's willing to be more than a friend. Someone who's willing to stay with me for the rest of my life..

It's obvious that I won't find anybody here, so that means more lonely nights for me. I'm so anxious to be back home already.

I'm sick of all the heat and the sand.

I wanna be home.

Booth

**AN: I really can imagine that Booth felt this way, at least before you know who showed up.**


	36. September 23, 2010

September 23, 2010

Dear Bones,

We're back! They called us home after 7 months and I'm so thankful for that. Now I won't miss any minute of the task at hand.

As promised, we met at the National Mall. When I first saw you standing there, you looked so different with your new haircut and those cute bangs. You looked younger, too, but I think you've lost too much weight. That's what happens when you have no one to watch over your food intake. See? That's what happens when I'm not around to look after you, right?

Yes, I'm just kidding. I know you can take care of yourself.

I was so glad when you found your way into my arms. I could've held you like that forever. It was like we were really back to being us...back to where we were before our fallout in front of the Hoover.

I had to pause as I noticed your scent. I've thought of that sweet odor the whole time in the desert. Your hair smells like vanilla and cherries...like home, you know? And at that moment, when it washed over me, I felt like I was finally home.

But something has changed, hasn't it? I've met someone in Afghanistan. She just passed by and I caught fire. It was so easy to be with her. She's pretty and she says she loves me. This was like a balm on my wounded soul, you know?. I finally thought that I'd found someone I could move on with...someone who wanted to be with me.

She didn't follow me here to the States, though, so it'll be a long distance relationship. I don't know how to handle that, really, but time will tell, I suppose. I was all set to give it a go...

...but then I came back home and saw you there...as beautiful as ever, even if you're a bit too thin.

See, I buried how I felt for you deep inside, but now it's all coming back to me and now I don't know how I feel, okay? I don't know how to handle it.

I'm so confused. I told you about Hannah and you said that you were happy for me, but there was something in your eyes that made me doubt. It was like your mouth said that you were happy, but your eyes told me you were sad. You looked lost.

Am I missing something here? Have you changed your mind about me...about us?

Oh God, Bones! I've already moved on. Why can't we ever get it right? What a huge mess!

So what does it all mean?

I hope I find some answers soon.

One thing is for sure, okay? I'm glad that I'm back home so we can be partners in crime fighting again.

And I'm quitting the Army forever.

Booth

**AN: So, we are back stateside. Laura was really quick with her Beta work. Looks like we all want to rush through this sad time quickly. **


	37. December 09, 2010

December 09, 2010

Dear Bones,

Sorry I couldn't write to you very often during the last few months. Hannah came to the States to be with me. She moved in and I'm in a serious relationship with her, so writing letters to another woman just felt weird, okay? Anyway, I thought that I was finally happy, living the life I've always wanted.

You've even become friends with Hannah, right? Honestly, I think that was kind of weird…

Look, I admit I cut down on the time we spent together outside of work because of Hannah. I didn't really want to, but it happens when you've got a girlfriend. I gotta spend quality time with her, too.

I know we're still friends but I can feel you are drifting away from me...that you're building walls around yourself again, and this time I can't blame you.

But then there are other times when our eyes meet, and...those are precious moments, because you're connecting with me again. It's like time has stopped, and things are like before we separated. It's like the way we were when we were "just partners and best friends."

Bones, I still care a lot for you. I hope you can read this in my eyes and feel it in your soul (or brain or wherever you feel stuff) when we're together. You still have a place in my heart...a place that will always belong to you alone.

So why am I here, in the middle of the night, writing to you again, after such a long time? Why aren't I in bed with Hannah, who's sleeping in the next room? Why can't I even be with her right now?

Because tonight something happened that changed everything.

We had a case that really got to you. You even identified with the victim, and then everything seemed to explode.

I found you in that dark part of town, in the middle of the street, and then I kinda saved your life again.

As you sat beside me in my car, you suddenly mentioned not wanting to have regrets, and I instantly knew what you were talking about. And then I told you that I'm with Hannah, right? That I'm in love with her and she's not a consolation prize.

And then you cried and it broke my heart because I'd broken yours.

So I wasn't really your friend tonight. Instead, I was a coward. What I should have done was take you in my arms so I could console you, even if I couldn't change the situation. I should've been close to you…there for you.

But I was too afraid. I didn't really know what that would do to me. I was afraid to hold you in my arms. I was so confused and I tried to put some distance between us, because at that moment I wasn't sure I could trust myself.

Believe me, I cried for you, too, when I got home.

Why did we miss our chance?

For some reason, now I'm angry. Why is my life always so complicated? Am I asking for too much, wishing that I could have normal relationships with the women I know?

Bones, where do we go from here?

Booth

**AN: Nope, we are not done yet. Please stay with me till better times. **


	38. February 3, 2011

**This chapter needs a disclaimer. I am using the song text from Mary MacGregor's "Torn between Two Lovers."**

February 03, 2011

Dear Bones,

I'm sitting here alone in my apartment right now. Hannah is away, covering the president's trip, so it's just me...by myself.

If the situation was different, like it used to be, I'd grab some take out and show up at your place to spend the evening, but I can't do that right now. I need to keep my distance, because I'm still so confused about what has happened over these last days and weeks.

I long to be with you, okay? I want to spend time with you again, but I don't think it'd do either one of us any good, right?

I don't know how to sort my feelings right now. The way things are now...it's killing me.

While I'm sitting here by myself, sipping my third glass of scotch, there's a song running around in my head over and over again. I think it's a lot like our story, only I'm in the woman's place, which is weird, but whatever. I guess you probably don't know the song, so I'm gonna write down the words for you:

_There are times when a woman has to say what's on her mind  
Even though she knows how much it's gonna hurt  
Before I say another word, let me tell you "I love you"  
Let me hold you close, and say these words as gently as I can  
"There's been another man that I've needed and I've loved  
But that doesn't mean I love you less  
And he knows he can't possess me, and he knows he never will  
There's just this empty place inside of me that only he can fill"_

_Torn between two lovers, feeling like a fool  
Loving both of you is breaking all the rules  
Torn between two lovers, feeling like a fool  
Loving you both is breaking all the rules_

_You mustn't think you failed me just because there's someone else  
You were the first real love I ever had  
And all the things I ever said  
I swear they still are true  
For no one else can have the part of me I gave to you_

_Torn between two lovers, feeling like a fool  
Loving both of you is breaking all the rules  
Torn between two lovers, feeling like a fool  
Loving you both is breaking all the rules  
_

_Couldn't really blame you if you turned and walked away  
But with everything I feel inside, I'm asking you to stay_

_Torn between two lovers, feeling like a fool  
Loving both of you is breaking all the rules  
Torn between two lovers, feeling like a fool  
Loving you both is breaking all the rules.  
_

Bones, that's exactly how I feel right now.

We had that case with the man who was married to 3 wives. When we talked about it later, you asked me if he loved them all equally and I told you **No**, that he loved the first one the most.

And then I told you more, remember? I told you that you can love several people in your life, but there's only one you'll love the most.

Why can't you see that you're the one I love the most?

It became crystal clear to me as soon as I said it. I hope you understood me, because at that moment, I couldn't give you more. It was too awkward. I just hope that you got my message, okay? I don't want you to go anywhere. I need you to stay.

Right now my heart feels like it's being torn apart, and I have no idea how to solve this problem.

Please, don't go. I need you in my life.

Booth

**AN: I promise you, next letter Hannah will be history. **


	39. February 10,2011

February 10, 2011

Dear Bones,

Look, I was looking for a way out of all the mess I'd created, okay?

I really thought I wanted to ask Hannah to marry me, but now I think I actually wanted her to make the decision to end things for me. I was a coward again. I know that now, and it all ended in a big fiasco, okay? And then she took off.

Do I ever get anything right? The way things work with me and women, either it's the wrong time, the wrong place, or the wrong person.

And now I'm sitting here at home, hungover, and my head's hurting like hell. After Hannah dumped me, you found me, and we spent the rest of the evening at the Founding Fathers...and I got really drunk.

I can't believe I came up with those 2 stupid options for you. What bullshit! As if I would ever want to be without you hanging around, okay? It was the liquor talking. Please blame my stupidity on the alcohol, okay?

You chose to stay with me after I gave you the 2 options, and I don't know how to thank you for that. I'm such a fool sometimes. Damn, I could have lost you again last night, right? But you're a good friend...and you stayed.

You even made sure I got home safe, and you took care of me...at least until I was in my bedroom. For a moment I was really worried that Hannah was still around, but she'd cleared her stuff out, and I'm glad, I guess. I couldn't have faced her in my condition.

Now I'm sitting here, alone again, and I'm angry...really angry...still angry.

At Becca, at you, at Hannah, at the whole world….but mostly at myself.

Seriously...what's wrong with me?

Why don't women want what I'm offering here?

Am I really so hard to love?

Would it be so horrible to stay with me, like forever?

I know this is self-pity, but it seems like I can't help it. I feel like I'm drowning in it right now.

Oh God, my head hurts so much. I looked in the mirror when I went to the bathroom. I barely knew the guy there, okay? I look like crap, so I called in at work and took a sick day. I hope there won't be a body found anywhere. I couldn't take it today.

I don't even know how to face you again. I've been a shitty partner to you over the last few months, and especially last night.

You came to me as my friend and I rudely pushed you away. Why did I even talk about those options? Am I gonna regret that?

No matter what I said last night, I want you in my life, okay? I need you in my life. I need my work partner, and maybe someday...not right now, but someday...I want you to be more. I can see that door opening for us eventually.

But not right now. I just need some time for myself, okay? I need to get my act together first.

Bones, please don't give up on me yet. Please give me a chance to recover. Please wait for me until I'm ready to be my best for you.

Booth

**AN: As promised, Hannah is gone. This was the last letter for this sad period. Happy times are there again soon. **

**Have a nice weekend, stay safe and healthy.**


	40. March 10, 2011

March 10, 2011

Dear Bones,

So we're spending time together again. I'm so thankful for that, and recently I've realized how much I'd missed just being with you. I'm so grateful that you're the one who's coming back to me...that it's your idea, all on your own. You're taking the first steps towards us being together, like when you showed up at the shooting range with those Tommy guns for Valentine's Day last month. By the way, that was the weirdest date I've ever had for Valentine's Day, but I loved every minute of it.

And today I met you in the park where you normally go jogging. Truth to be told, I was secretly waiting for you. I know all of your habits, like when and where you like to run. You're so predictable. Remember how I knew about your passwords being daffodil and Jupiter? Like I said, predictable.

Anyway, I was hoping to meet you there...wishing that you'd come by so I could talk to you. Shades of junior high, I know, but it worked, and that's all I care about.

It's great that we're coming back to the easiness we had a long time ago. I missed that so, so much.

I really wanted to go with you to that lecture about the Peloponnesian war, believe me. It didn't matter how boring it might be for me, because I wanted to spend time with you. The funny thing is, even Caroline noticed how gung ho I was to go with you. She might suspect something...

You know, everything was falling into place again and I was so happy about that, so why did you act like you did, questioning me and my motives? That made me angry all over again!

We found out about Broadsky being the killer and you kept comparing me to him!

It felt as if you put us in the same bad place where we'd been, like you think I'm capable of acting like that bastard!

Bones, that hurt me so much! Don't you get it?

I AM NOT LIKE HIM!

Later I found out that it was only you being you, telling me your views about me in a very clumsy way. We really need to work on your communications skills, you know?

Sometimes I hear words coming out of your mouth, but if they're some of those really big words, their meaning doesn't register in my mind right away.

Luckily , in the end, you spelled it out for me when we had drinks after the case was over.

You told me that Broadsky is bad and I'm good.

That was as simple as you could put it, but it caused a lot of elation for me. Thank you for standing by my side again. Thank you for being a great friend and partner. I need that right now.

Bones, I think we're finding our way back together again. This time we'll do it right, okay? I won't rush you, I promise. I'll give you time...all the time you need. I'll give us time to work it out together.

I have so much hope.

Booth

**AN: Happy times again, as I promised. Next letter is about two people trapped in an elevator, excited?**


	41. March 17, 2011

**Here is a Sunday treat for all of us **

March 17, 2011

Dear Bones,

I just got back from taking you home tonight. With all the snow from the blizzard still on the streets, I wanted to make sure you got home safe. I still can smell the ashes of the papers we burned this evening in the living room.

We finally talked, right? I mean, we really talked to each other, open and honestly.

That happened because we were trapped in the elevator of my building for most of the day since I wanted those Phillie stadium seats so badly.

Maybe it was a stupid idea, but I've got such fond memories of that one perfect day with my father at the World Series, and those seats brought them all back to me. I hope you understand that. I really do think they were worth the trouble.

Sweets had been very annoying while we were stuck, and he kept pushing us to talk about the 'Hannah' situation and how we deal with everything now. I got really pissed at him. Throwing peas at him was simply not enough...way not enough. It's none of his business. Me and you are very capable of figuring the Hannah thing out for ourselves, thank you very much.

But Bones, there is one thing I do have to tell you. You're still so clueless sometimes when it comes to what you do to me...physically, that is.

Like when you just grabbed me by my shoulders and pushed me right against your hips. You really made me breathless for a moment. I didn't know where to put my hands, and I didn't even dare to move just one inch. To make it worse, Sweets chose that moment to come back from visiting Mrs. Ross. Do you have any idea how he might interpret something like that?

Lucky for me that he didn't show up when you gave me that Thai massage thing. He would've had a field day with that, okay?

You know, I should be used to feeling your hands on me by now. You've fixed my back more than once, you've grabbed me by my tie, stripped me down to my boxers to collect evidence, and even pushed your fingers into my mouth to look for an infected tooth or to demonstrate how someone was killed by a hook. I think you regard me as your property, thinking you can go anywhere you want, whenever you want, because sometimes you really don't have any boundaries.

So you just decided to give me a massage, and no, not on my back, even though that's what hurt, but on my thigh. Really far up my thigh, to be precise, and you came really, really close to … you know, my junk. I was starting to react to your touch and not just a little bit, but, you know...full bang. I know you must've noticed. You were close enough, and I saw that smug smile on your face. You were enjoying yourself, weren't you?

Maybe that's why we finally ended up talking about us while we were stuck in the elevator. We talked about being together and even making love and how good it would be between us. You gave me some strange ideas, you know? I was glad I had a blanket lying around, so I could use it as a cover, because those ideas were making me a little...uncomfortable.

But truth to be told, later when we sat there together in my apartment, talking about a date when we could move forward, that was the best part of the day.

I know now this is going somewhere. We're finally on our way to forever.

I'm very sure that you didn't mind the kiss on your cheek when I said good night in front of your apartment. It just felt right at the time.

I took your smile as a signal that maybe that could happen again in the next few days.

So I'm finally back to spelling it out again.

I LOVE YOU!

Booth

**This is one of my favorite episodes (oh I have some). I have the DVD and you can listen to the commentary of Emily Deschanel and David Boreanaz for this episode. Hilarious. Emily had just found out that she was pregnant and David couldn't get over it that she was pregnant with his baby and he had no clue. "**_**Close to my junk**_**" were originally commentary from David and Emily on this scene. Hope you enjoyed this letter.**


	42. May 5, 2011

May 5, 2011

Dear Bones,

I wanna take you on a date, a real date. I mean, we're spending a lot of time together, and we've shared lots of meals over the last few weeks. I don't know how we're gonna squeeze it in, because I want it to be something special, but we're gonna do it one day soon.

On the other hand, every time we have dinner together now it already feels like a special date, so...

We went shopping together today to find that stuffed rabbit for Angela's baby, and my heart skipped a beat, because you chose this gift to be from both of us. Maybe that was a little thing, but it made me really happy.

So are we already an 'US'? I got this warm feeling inside and kinda felt a little overwhelmed at that thought, you know? Thanks to that idea, I had a smile plastered on my face for the rest of the day.

We're going slowly, right? I understand that we don't want to rush this. We've set our target date, even if I only wrote down 'whenever Bones is ready'. I'm not picky when it happens, as long as it happens.

But I know I'm ready now, because I'm not angry anymore. I want us to be together, so I'm just waiting for a sign from you that we're finally on the same page.

When we finished that case with the deaf girl, I asked you to have dinner with me that night. I wanted it to be our first date, even if I didn't call it like that.

After eating in that fancy restaurant, we went for a walk later, and you just slipped your hand into mine...your beautiful, soft hand. I held on tight and I couldn't let it go for the rest of the evening. It felt natural...it just felt right, you know? Like another step towards our future together.

I have so much on my mind right now. I really, really want to be with you in a romantic relationship. I've wanted to take that next step with you, believe me, but I'm also worried.

Broadsky is still out there somewhere, okay? And if he gets even a tiny clue that you're the one I love, he'll go after you. I can't risk that. I have to keep you safe, so I'll have to keep my distance for now.

That's so hard to do, you know, because my heart is longing for you so much...and I have to admit...so is my body.

Tonight, when I walked you up to your apartment (like I always do, to keep you safe) I couldn't hold back anymore.

I just had to pull you in my arms and kiss you good night. You responded to that kiss by kissing me back, so I think you liked it, too.

I was finally close enough to whisper:

I LOVE YOU.

Booth

**AN: You all know which episode comes next, right. Hope you liked this one. **


	43. May 16,2011

May 16, 2011

My Love,

It's 3 in the morning and I just got up to use the bathroom. When I came back into my room, I just had to stand in the doorway for a few minutes and watch you sleep..

In all my life, I've never seen anything more beautiful...at least it felt like that right now. You're laying in my bed, sprawled out on your stomach, your hair spread out like a halo on my pillow. The sheet has slipped down, showing off your beautiful back...the smooth, creamy skin that I'm allowed to touch now. I can touch every delicious little inch of it...touch with my hands, with my lips, with my tongue.

I'm overwhelmed with contentment, so I felt like I needed to sit down and tell you what I'm thinking. I'm glad I've developed this habit of writing to you, you know? I love putting my thoughts on paper for you now...it makes me immensely happy. I think sometime soon I'll show you the letters, but not yet. They're still my little secret.

The day, when we lost Vincent, was the worst day I've had to deal with lately. It broke my heart to see you so sad and desperate. It was devastating...

So how could I have ever thought that his death would lead to this moment? You've finally turned to me for emotional support. At first it was for comfort, and I was more than ready to give you that.

We finally talked about how horrible it had turned out, and about how deeply the loss of your intern hurts you. You kept saying, "It could've been you, Booth. It could've been you".

No, Bones, not me..it could've been you, because I would've given the phone to you instead.

That revelation went straight to my heart. I'm so sorry for Vincent's death, but I'm also so relieved, knowing that it wasn't you.

I told you that, remember? I told you that I don't want to miss another minute with you. I told you that I love you. Yes, I finally did it. And then you told me that you love me, too. I've wished to hear those words from you for a long, long time.

We hugged, we kissed and this time we didn't stop until we were skin to skin. Oh God, you're so gorgeous. All of the things I ever imagined about you were nothing compared to the real thing. Your soft skin, your beautiful curves, the soft moans I heard when I found out what you wanted me to do to you.

And most important, finally we made love, Bones. WE MADE LOVE. It was more amazing than I could ever dream of. To be with you in this way, to become one...I'm still overwhelmed thinking of the moment when I sank into you for the first time. It felt right, it felt complete and it was perfect, like we were made for each other. It literally took my breath away.

Later that day we got Broadsky and we said goodbye to Vincent.

I took you home that night and have done so every night ever since. We've started our travels on the way to forever. Everything is new and exciting, but, on the other hand, being with you is as familiar as if we've been together for a long time. Angela was right: we've been a couple for a long time, only leaving the romance out of the equation, right?.

We finally have that now, and I promise you this: I'll show you how much I love you in every way possible. We've lost so much time, and we need to catch up, right? I've fantasized about making love to you in every room in my apartment, in your apartment, in my office, in your office, in the car and even in limbo. Have I missed a place? Believe me, there are still open points on my bucket list. Be prepared, okay?!

I'm going back to bed now, and I'll pull you close to me. I'm looking forward to waking up in the morning with the most beautiful woman on Earth in my arms. I know that's kinda cheesy, but I've been a hopeless romantic these past few days...

...Or maybe I am just in love.

I LOVE YOU!

Booth

**AN: I hope I didn't disappoint you with this letter? If so, let me know. Have a great weekend!**


	44. June 6, 2011

June 06, 2011

My Love,

I'm literally down on my knees, thanking God for all the blessings I've received lately...for you, for us being together, and now for the baby.

I'M GOING TO BE A FATHER AGAIN! I could shout it from the rooftops!

I can't tell you how happy you've made me!

I know, I know...it's the second time that news like this has hit me like a bus, okay? I guess we can blame my super sperm. Anyway, I can't deny it..the news made me feel kinda cocky again. Who's the man, right?

That morning when we made love for the first time was the only day you'd missed your pill, so it must've happened that day. You can call it fate, I suppose, but the same day we lost the life of someone dear, we created a new life.

I can see a lot of beauty in that thought, and it's like I'm bursting with joy.

I know you were afraid to tell me. I guess you were thinking that I'd be mad or something. Maybe you thought that this happened way too early...that our relationship is still too fresh. How could you ever doubt that I would be anything other than grateful?

We created a little "Bones" because we love each other, okay? How could that ever be a bad thing?

I think I finally convinced you that I'm absolutely over the moon.

Bones, I'm a bit jealous that you get to get the experience of growing a new life in your womb. I just have to sit and wait outside while everything happens. I know you think I'm kinda silly because I've already started talking to your belly, where our baby is resting between your hip bones.

Sometimes I'm going to press a kiss there, okay? And sometimes I may get a little distracted by the thought that it's my baby I'm kissing.

But you need to know that I'll need this time to bond with our baby and you actually have no say-so on the matter anyway.

This is only between "little bones" and me, right? So just get used to it.

Now we're trying to figure out how to tell everybody. They don't even know that we're in a relationship, and now there's a baby on the way. Surprise!

Oh God...they'll probably find out soon because I hear you in the bathroom again, getting rid of all the nice pancakes I made you for breakfast.

I'll be there to help you right away. I'll hold your hair out of the way, help you with a wet cloth to cool your forehead, bring you some water to rinse your mouth and hold you close to me until you feel better. I'll do anything to help you through this difficult time, because we're in this together.

Only one last word, though…..

I LOVE YOU BOTH

Booth

**AN: Dear readers. It was always the plan that these letters will end with the end of season 6. And here we are. So there will be only one last letter left. I promise you, that one will be a little longer than the others. Thank you for staying with me to the end. **

**And as promised…. I am already writing the next story. **


	45. Chapter 45

**Here we are, the last letter. Again a special thanks to my amazing Beta 554Laura. She was a terrific support for me. **

July 06, 2011

Dear Bones,

This will be the last letter I write to you, and I'm only doing it because you asked me to. I thought I was done, but...

Yes, you know about these letters now, and you wanted this last one to make the set complete. I'm writing down what happened when you got to read them.

So here's the story, okay?

It just so happened that you were looking for a piece of paper in my desk, and you thought you'd found one in a box I had stashed in there. But the thing was, that box contained the letters I'd been writing to you.

You saw the last one I wrote on top of the pile and closed the box instantly. You didn't want to break my trust in you by reading them without me knowing about it, so you waited patiently for me to come home, and then you wanted to talk about the box you'd found.

You placed it on the coffee table in the living room and I saw it there when I entered the room.

I was a little bit shocked, and I didn't know what to say at first. I'd planned out the exact moment that I was going to show you the letters, and that's absolutely not the way I wanted it to be, okay? I'd thought that moment through so many times, and that wasn't the way it was supposed to go down.

I looked in your eyes, wanting to find out how you were feeling about it, but you weren't angry or disappointed...it was more like you were curious about the story behind those letters.

So I told you about my need to write things down...to have a way to express my feelings, because there were times when I couldn't tell you directly. Over the years, they became like a journal, you know? Otherwise I would've forgotten some things I'd written about. I think it's good to have the letters here to help us remember those moments between us.

They make up the story of US.

44 letters in a box to help us remember the good times and the bad times.

I opened the box for you and we both sat down, kinda reading them together, starting with the first letter. After the third letter you turned to me and looked straight into my eyes, and I could see that your eyes were shimmering with tears. You were surprised, really surprised, that even that early in our partnership, I already knew that I was in love with you. Of course I was. I've always been in love with you, right from the start.

When you finished the sixth letter, you chuckled. "I knew it, right there, from the tone of your voice, that you'd just had sex! You couldn't hide it!"

Yes, Bones, you were right, but I would've never ever admitted that to you then.

We just skimmed over the letter from when you were buried alive together with Hodgins. We don't want to think about that now...about how scared we both were...

And we also don't need to think about your time with Sully. I was so jealous at that time.

When you placed the twelfth letter back in the box you looked at me with...what can I say? Hungry eyes? Oh yeah...they were hungry alright. You smiled and said in a husky voice, right next to my ear, that I was right about making love...about how it's the real thing, and I had to struggle to control myself. I really considered leaving the letters for another day and heading straight to our bedroom with you in my arms. Jesus, you were just too tempting.

And it didn't get any better with that next letter, either. Oh God, Bones, in my mind I'm there with you, and you're wearing that hot and sexy Wonder Woman costume. You have to wear it again sometime for me again, okay? I know not right now…it'd be too tight, but….uhhh…

When you read about Baby Andy, you grabbed my hand. Yes, we're finally there, having that family together. Yes, my dream has finally come true. So I just had to kiss you a bit, you know? You make me so happy...

In no time you had already consumed the next few letters and your smug smile came back again. You told me that for a guy who's not into role play, I was pretty obsessed with that library fantasy. Bones, I'm still at the end that normal of a guy. I think you know by now, right?

When you put back the twenty first letter, you confessed to me that you'd also had some trouble sleeping when we were so close to each other in that circus trailer. Oh boy, how everything could've turned out so very differently if we weren't hiding our feelings back then. We lost so much time...

Then you were very emotional again when you got to the time period around my tumor, but you blamed it on the hormones running wild in your body right now. I'm so grateful that we have our baby now, and we did it the right way.

Letter twenty eight kept us musing about what would've happened if the squints hadn't interrupted us in the museum. If we had kissed, would we have started a relationship? I don't know. And regarding our falling out in front of the Hoover, I'm not so sure I want to remember that night. We quickly skimmed over that letter, too.

But you found your sense of humor again when you read about Christmas and how you collected the evidence from my clothes. You confessed that you'd also been thinking about that situation for days and imagining a different outcome. So I wasn't the only one. Good to know.

You cried a bit when we went over the whole separation and Hannah situation. It was just too close to the present, but your sad tears turned to happy tears when you read about us coming together and how happy I am about our little Bones growing bigger every day.

I just had to put my hand against your belly. There's already a small bump showing and I'm amazed every time I feel it. Our baby, made from love.

We finished the letters and you asked me if you could keep them. Of course. After all, they're addressed to you. But you meant that maybe someday we can have them bound and put together, like in a book.

I liked that thought until you left me speechless with your next comment:

"So maybe I can read them to our child someday!"

No, no, Bones...no way. Please promise me that you won't read to our child about how I dreamed about you, or how I described the way I wanted to touch you and everything else. Oh God, please, no.

You grabbed the box, laughing and teasing me about being prudish. Bones, how many times do I have to tell you? I'm not prudish, just private.

Then I took you to bed and showed you in every possible way how much I love you and absolutely not in a prudish way, right?

Bones, I promise you, I'll stay at your side, now and forever.

You're all I ever wished for...what I dreamed about...the woman I wrote about in these letters.

Believe me, I'm the happiest man in the world, because I have you in my life.

So this is the last time I'll write a letter to you. From now on, I'll tell you face to face:

I love you.

Booth

PS: Maybe sometimes I'll leave a sticky note on the mirror for you, when I'm in the mood. We'll see.

**AN: So, I hope you enjoyed the last letter. Thank you all, my dear readers that you stayed with me till now. If you like, leave me a last review, I appreciate it very much. **

**As I have told you in the letter after "Hero in the hold" I am actually writing a story, that starts right there. **

**If you are looking for a story about crime, action and angst, that's not it. If so you have to read the story "Dreaming of you" from my fantastic Beta Laura. That will keep you on the edge.**

**If you are all in for romance, and love, and fluff, be my guest with my next story "The terrors in the night". **

**Have a nice Sunday and I hope you all come back soon. Stay safe. **


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